Autompne

sixteen

SIXTEEN

It'd been a couple of days since I last overheard Autumn and my doctor's conversation. Surprisingly, neither of us brought it up and I was sure Autumn didn't know that I'd hear what she said and I wondered why she still hasn't brought it up. If I were her, I would have.

I decided it'd be a good time for me to visit the school. No, I didn't love the school and no, I most certainly did not miss it at all. I just felt like a day out of the hospital would be a good change and at least I'd get to visit Mr. Harris since he'd failed to do so. I didn't blame him though, I understood. It was final week and things were usually hectic for teachers. He wasn't going to leave it all behind and go visit a dying kid and I understood that.

I wasn't excited about seeing people because I knew I'd get double the amount of stares that I used to get before I dropped out. I knew that people were going to stare and whisper things like 'oh, look. It's the sick kid!' or 'why is he back?' and I couldn't handle it but I knew it'd be all worth it.

I stepped out of the car and slowly made my way up the steps that led to the front door. So many memories, so little people I've had to share those memories with, and a whole lot of homework. God, high school was the worst.

It was lunchtime, which I was thankful for because then I wouldn't get as many stares and it wouldn't get too overwhelming. I knew where I was going to go first. I was going to go to Mr. Harris' classroom and I was going to sit with him during lunch, just like we used to so things would be the same. So when I got there, I wasn't surprised to see him grading papers and I had a little de ja vu moment of when I first told him I was sick.

I knocked on the door softly and he turned to look at me, his frown turning into a soft smile almost immediately. He stacked his papers on top of each other and put them away, along with the pen and then he stood up; which surprised me. He made his way over to me and pulled me in for a hug and I returned it because it felt nice. It was nice. It was safe to say that I considered him as a father figure and that made me really happy. I had a father; or something close to it. He held me like a father would, he talked to me as a father would and he treated me as a father would and I have no idea where I'd be without him.

"I was going to visit you tomorrow, I swear," he laughed, pulling away and I could see that he was crying just a little bit.

"It's okay, this is okay," I smiled, sitting down at my usual spot and he followed, sitting on his chair.

"How are you? How's everything?" he asked, his smile only growing bigger and it reminded me of a smile you'd give to someone when you missed them a lot. That made me happy too.

"I'm fine, the hospital's great and I have lots of friends," I said. "I'm pretty popular so you should come meet my fans."

"I'm sure you are," I laughed and so did he. "I'll come visit you soon, I promise. This won't be the last time we see each other. I won't let it be."

"Don't promise me," I said, looking down.

"Why not?"

"Because people always break their promises," I explained. "So don't promise me because this is the one promise I don't want you to break." he stared at me in awe, as if I'd said the most brilliant thing but it wasn't; it was truth. People should start telling the truth more often.

"Well, then," he smiled again. "I won't promise you that I'll visit."

Lunch was interesting but I was disappointed when I had to leave Mr. Harris because he had class right after Lunch. I decided it'd be a good time for me to go on a little walk around the school, for it could be my last time ever, and then leave.

I walked down the hallways, earing stares from everyone and for the first time, I didn't look down. I stared right back at them and gave them a soft smile—even the jocks and the cheerleaders who used to make fun of me. I looked at them; smiled and then walked away. A few people stopped to smile at me and wave and others walked by as if nothing had happened. It didn't bother me though, I didn't know them either.

And it was then that I found that I was completely happy. I was accepting my fate and I was moving on.

I was practically welcoming death with open arms.

**

how did I reach 3k reads and when did that happen because like idk what i'm just really confused because this story doesn't even deserve 1/4 of the amount of feedback it gets idk what yall see in it but I thank you regardless. this is so awesome and it totally made my day, like wow. thank you so much. I need to find other ways to express myself because I am running out of things to say.

p.s; I'm also sorry for suddenly disappearing. my computer broke and so I was forced to actually study for finals. I just got it fixed though and I only have like 9 days left of finals so yaaaay summer's almost here aka fast updates (I hope ????)