Forced | BTS Kim Seok Jin ☑

30 •••

--- Ji Su's Point of View ---

It's been a week now since the day the boys came over and I began to open up to Jin. He's being even sweeter and loving than before. I didn't think he could become more charming, but he has. His every word and action towards me are full with so much love and sentiment. I find it quite hard to resist his alluring and enticing charms.

He sleeps besides me, and gets up early in the morning to make our breakfast. I've told him he didn't have to it, that the maids would have it ready for us, but he insists on doing it himself. He wants to pamper me as long as he can, before his schedule starts getting hectic again. I couldn't help but love all the attention he was giving me.

He tries doing everything for me, he opens doors for me, helps me tie my shoes, moves my laptop to wherever I want to sit, and basically makes sure I do nothing. If I let him he would have me sitting in bed all day, just feeding me and letting me sleep. He is too cute for his one good.

My handsome beast is treating like a fragile princess, and it makes me feel so loved and cared for.

My heart feels less and less broken as the days go by. Every day, that scary and hurtful day gets buried away deeper and the beautiful moments I am experiencing besides Jin replacing them.

However, things between us aren't completely back to normal yet. I am still holding back a tiny bit, because deep down I am still afraid of what the future has in store for us. I'm afraid of another incident happening later on, and it possibly affecting our child. No matter how far I push the bad memories away, they always creep back to haunt me in my dreams.

Sometimes I would wake Jin with my murmurs and soft cries at night. He would lightly tap my shoulders to get me wake me up. Seeing me still tormented at night, made Jin feel guilty all over again. I would wake up startled to see him by my side at first, and then relief would wash over me. I was relieved to know that that scary and violent Jin was gone and existed only in my memories. I wanted to be consoled by Jin's hugs and have him reassuring me that everything would be ok. But, he would refrain from touching me and just silently looked at me with sorry eyes. He would fix my blanket and watch me until I fell back asleep.

I know he is trying his best to prove he won't lash out again, but I can't help but be tormented by this memory from time to time.

Aside from my little episodes, everything is going smoothly and moving forward. We are both working to put it behind us, and focusing on our future together with our baby.

Jin is always trying to fix my heart. He is too cute and loving for his own good. My husband is just perfect at everything he does.

He cooks my favorite foods, makes sure me and the baby get enough nutrients, and he goes out and buys me whatever crazy craving I have. He is beyond attentive and always looking out for me. He said he always dreamt of the day his wife would get pregnant and have cravings like he saw in dramas, and I always dreamt of the day that I would have him by my side.

He would take me on small strolls in our garden as he shielded us from the sun with an umbrella so I could get some fresh air. He would hold me by the arm under the pretense that he wanted to make sure I didn't fall. I would blush at this rare instance of skin-ship. This was one of the very few instanced in which he would touch me. I secretly hoped this was just his excuse for touching me.