Be found

All You Need

"... Anyways, I need to get some sleep so I can actually do my exams. I love you."

There was a pause, that Evan almost construed as hesitation, and then:

"Yeah. Love you."

"Bye."

And then the dial tone. Connor had hung up. Connor had always been abrupt, but Evan was starting to get worried. Between the last two visits - Connor seeming withdrawn, sad, uncertain, hesitant, almost unwilling to touch him, limited eye contact - and the last couple of phone calls - one word answers, disinterest, a wandering mind, and that - No goodbyes - Evan was definitely thinking something was wrong.

The first thought was that Connor was off his meds. And Evan didn't know what he could do about that. Accusing Connor of being off his meds would be the worst thing he could do, could worsen the situation, make Connor hate him more. Maybe he'd have to send Zoe or Cynthia after him, to make sure.

And then came the worse thought. In three days would be December 12th. The one year anniversary of Connor's last suicide attempt. And despite what he had said at Thanksgiving, Evan couldn't help but think: 'Oh god, what if he's planning another attempt?' The thought terrified him. That Connor could be thinking of hurting himself- let alone killing himself- was a punch to the gut.

Evan was going to have to do some investigating and act fast if this was what he thought it was.

Private Chatroom opened 12/10/17 by eh.

ZMurphy, 4:31pm: Evan?

eh, 4:31pm: yeah. Hi, Zoe. Umm, not to be weird, but has Connor seemed a bit off recently?

ZMurphy, 4:36pm: I mean a bit. He hasn't been calling home as much, but we figured that was because he was using the extra time to study or something. He's been a little on edge, if you feel.

eh, 4:37pm: You don't think he's gone off his meds, right?

ZMurphy, 4:38pm: well now I'm worried.

eh, 4:39pm: sorry. He's just been super withdrawn

eh, 4:39pm: and

eh, 4:41pm: I'm scared that he's thinking about hurting himself.

ZMurphy, 4:42pm: you heard what he said, at TG. he said he was happy to be alive, surely nothing big has changed since then evan

ZMurphy, 4:44pm: I don't think I could deal with it again, I love him, but I can't do this again evan

eh, 4:45pm: I know. I just don't know what he's thinking, and I'm just worried, I'm certain it's just the paranoia. I'm gonna ask my mom if she's seen the same kind of changes but I'm this close to just catching a bus down and doing the confrontation thing myself.

ZMurphy, 4:47pm: keep me posted. Keep an eye on him.

eh, 4:50pm: I will. Stay safe, Zoe.

ZMurphy, 4:50pm: I will Evan. Same to you.

Incoming Call from Sweet Child o' Mine

"Evan?"

"Hey mom."

Truth be told, Heidi kind of knew why her son was calling. Because she was concerned about Connor as well. They used to have weekly phone calls, Connor felt he could turn to her to let out all of the stresses of the past week, the phone calls with his family, the piles of assignments, his dorm mate being strange, or whatever the case may be. But recently, the calls were few and far between, and Connor wasn't as open, or responsive, and wasn't as willing to tell all that was wrong to her.