Brain Flower

5 / Virginity

Chapter Five:

Castiel's POV:

I didn't know what was happening. I suddenly felt so close to Dean. His warm hand on my arm. I wanted to take his hand and walk into school holding it. I wanted him to be mine so badly, I didn't even care anymore. Screw what he thinks, I really like him a lot and I want to be with him. I really want him to like me. I want him to love me. Do I love him? I only met him yesterday! But I think I kinda do. Like a lot. The school bell ran and I pulled my arm out of his grasp. He turned and started to walk away, sadly. I caught up to him, squeezing past people. I got next to him, out shoulders touching. He glanced at me and I don't really know why I did what I did. No, I didn't kiss him. I wish but I did. If we were ever going to kiss I'd want it to just be him and me. I hooked my pinkie finger around his. He looked at me, his eyes wide. I looked away, blushing. He didn't smile, maybe he didn't want me to hold his hand! I wasn't though, I was holding onto his pinkie with mine. It's pretty close though. I pulled my pinkie away. Suddenly, his strong hand grabbed mine. He intertwined his finger with mine, holding on firm. I blushed a bright, hot red. That's what it felt like anyway. Hot plastered on my face.

Dean's POV:

I didn't want to let go of his hand. I never wanted to. I held his hand all the way to his locker, where he took his free hand and unlocked it. He always had his backpack to one shoulder so it was easy to slip off and into the small are. Cas unzipped the pack and slid out his math binder and some other things. Soon he was holding what he needed and he was shutting his locker. Cas was so elegant and perfect, he knew exactly what to do. He turned and smiled at me, his eyes fluttering to my lips and then back to my eyes. It made me look at his perfect lips and back to his gorgeous eyes. I need some more words to describe him, perfect wasn't enough.

Castiel's POV:

Dean pulled me along thought the crowded hallways to his locker. A few people noticed out hands but shrugged it off or looked at us for a few seconds. A few people smiled and a few people frowned. Whatever, I didn't care. I was holding the hand of Dean Winchester. He brought me to his locker and had some troubles putting in his combination.

"Sorry Cas, it's kinda hard. I'm right handed and my free hand is my left," Dean pursed his lips adorably. I felt bad now, I tried to let go of his hand. He won't let me, he just squeezed my hand harder, "That doesn't mean you let go of my hand." I blushed again, looking away. He unlocked his locker and looked at me. With his free left hand, he brushed his fingers against my cheek, turning my face to look at him. "I like to look at you," he spoke so softly and sincerely and blushed red again. But I didn't turn away this time, I let him look. It embarrassed me but he smiled which probably meant good things. He struggled with his backpack and binders.

"Here," I scooted him over slightly so I could help. Our arms worked along together, unzipping his backpack and pulling out folders, binders and books. I was really close to him now, I could smell his cologne. It was rich and perfect. He closed his locker and faced me, out noses inches apart. His eyes fell to my lips and my eyes fell to his. I wanted to lean out and kiss him, I didn't care we were in front of people. Well OK, I did. That's why I didn't kiss him. The fiver minute bell rang loudly, so we turned our way to Mr. Singers. In a matter of seconds we were standing in his class. No one looked up or really cared at our holding hands.

I looked around the room. There were some open seats by where Charlie and Lisa usually sit, and then there's my open seat. I pulled my hand away from Dean, "I-I should probably go sit down. Dean snapped his head to me, immediately stepping closer. His body language was all towards me, it was amazingly overwhelming.

"What do you mean? You aren't sitting by me?" He looked hurt, I'd didn't want that.

"No, no, no! I just-I don't sit by people much. I like sitting alone I guess." I wanted to put him hands on his chest and hug him. I wanted to make sure he knew I still liked him. But, I never said to his face or out loud I liked him.

"Please come sit by me, Cas. I want you next to me." He murmured this, very quietly. He tugged at my polo's sleeve slightly, looking down.

"OK, Dean. I'd like to be next to you." He looked up excitedly at my words. Dean put his hand on my back, around the waist area and brought me to the desk right next to the one he sat down in yesterday. We had about 3 minutes until class started.

Dean's POV:

Cas was so adorable. I'm glad he could sit by me, I wanted him near me as much as possible. I was leaving for two weeks today. I didn't want to go, I wanted to be with Cas. I know I met him yesterday but there's something about him that just makes me feel like crawling into a ball but also makes me feel like jumping around the room like a puppy. It was very confusing but I loved every bit of it. I guess that's what you called love.

Cas looked over at me and pursed his beautiful lips. He wanted to say somehting. "Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Can I ask you uh, a personal question?" He blinked a few quick times. His lashes were long and adorable.

"Ask away," I smiled looking into his deep, blue eyes.

Cas started off his question with a stutter, "H-have you ever been in a relationship? Like a girlfriend?"

I nodded solemnly, "Yeah. Have you?"

Cas looked down at his hands, "Not-not since elementary school." I wasn't really surprised. Cas was shy and adorable. I was still kinda surprised. I expected him to say middle school, but elementary school? It was cute though, really cute. He glanced at me nervously, "Are you a-a virgin?"

I didn't really want to answer. I wasn't a virgin. It had been with some girl on St. Patty's day, we were drunk. We used protection. It was OK, nothing happened really. I didn't regret having sex, but I felt guilty about talking about it. "No, it was a year or so ago. It wasn't anything, just one night." Cas looked back down at his hands. "Are you?" I regretted the words as they fell out of my mouth. Cas's eyes flickered to me and he looked down.

"Uhm, yes. My parents...they want me to save myself for marriage or at least someone I truly love." He murmured in a hushed voice. Of course he hadn't had sex, he was religious and hasn't had a girlfriend or boyfriend since elementary school.

"I-I'm sorry Cas. I shouldn't have asked." I apologied, putting my hand on his back. I need to touch him, to make sure he was safe. To make sure he was there in front of me. The world seemed to oblivious to the fact we were having this conversation.

Cas nodded, "No its OK. I should apologise, I'm the one who asked in the first place." He brought his big, blue eyes to mine, "I'm sorry for bringing it up." He sadly tried to stand up, clearly embarrassed. I pulled him back down, my hand on his back.

"Please don't go Cas, please." Cas sat back down, a little astonished. I leaned my forehead to his shoulder, scooting my desk closer. The final bell rang and Mr. Singer cleared his throat.