breathe • shitposts #1

my brain is melting

the past few days have been a blur.

on monday, i woke up early and packed up to leave all state camp. the mom showed up at 8:30 to take me and my friend back home early for band camp (leaving the other behind - sorry sarah). we came back with barely half an hour to change, eat a quick lunch, and pack up for band camp. then, we picked up said friend and drove over to the stadium. she came back at 9 pm to pick us up, and i came home and showered and went to bed.

tuesday. i woke up at nine thirty to let out a dog across the street before coming back home to sit around until i had to get ready to leave again. i let the dog out again and we picked up the friend and drove to band camp. 9 pm, mom was back. i showered and went to bed.

wednesday. pretty much the same routine except now my sisters were back home (ew). the day was slightly better due to the presence of clouds and wind. 9 pm, i came home, had some cookies (left over from a work party my family had attended in my absence), and showered before going to bed.

today, i woke up at 6:45 am, and for the first time all summer was awake while my dad was still getting ready to go to work. i laid on the couch and messed around on my phone for a while until my family got up and my energy began to flag again. i still haven't gotten up to let out the dog because i just haven't been able to convince myself it'll be worth it. i'll probably still go over there just to escape my sisters, but i have zero desire to do so. in little over an hour, i'll be heading off to band camp, and again tomorrow. then next week, after just two days of false relief, post camp.

sorry for this sort of update, but i can't seem to convince myself to pretend i'm feeling okay right now. i'm perpetually exhausted, but this week is even worse. i don't think i like marching band much.