OHSHC X Self Harm Reader

A very long Authors Note

My name is Alexander. Call me Alex. You don't know me. I'm good friends with the Author. Author tried to kill himself recently. Almost 4 days without a word from the author. I dont even know if author is still alive. If he created his mind, he could quite possibly destroy it as well. But here is the note he left me and told me to share with you before he tried to down 7 bottles off his moms pills.

"I have more stories and art made than anything I've ever done before. But after it got lost and destroyed. I only have two pieces of art left.... I'm sorry I keep messing up, making lies, promises I can't keep, and just fucking up the enjoyment I'm trying to bring this world by hurting myself in ways I can't even explain and destroy the mind that once had the creativity of the universe.... But it's gone. All gone broken worse than my heart. I can't be saved. Not everyone can. But.... for people who don't know, depression is a state of mind where you see no point to do anything. Even live. But you can't prove that you're truly depressed because it only shows on the inside of the body. Because you can't see the mental pain, make it physical, try to feel something in your numb body, proof if people ask. I am depressed. Need proof?238 cuts on my right arm. Half that on my left, double on my left thigh and triple on my right. I heal fast. Which means I have another space to cut again and I don't stop. I can't. I love my girlfriend, Jehiro, my love the one that got me here. To stay. My sister. The one that showed me my problems aren't that bad and that people have it worse. My family. Yeah they say they try, yeah they say they love me, yeah they say I'm happy. But I'm not. But I like being hurt. I'm numb to the bone, I like feeling pain because its all I can feel. No matter how many cuts I make no matter how many times I try to kill myself, I never cut deep enough to hurt that bad I never took enough pills. I never hurt enough. I'm making Alex yell you this. I want to be hurt so call me all the names you have. Please. I want to feel something I haven't felt anything for 5 months now. All I've felt, is the emptiness that's inside me. I say I love this world, and I do. But.... Even if I feel empty I have people to live for people I'm going to stay for. I may try to kill myself but I won't die. I'm never dead. I'm just a hollow doll looking for a ghost to haunt me."

So there's the author note. On a happier side, we got a baby chick, a Silkie, where as their feathers don't stick together so they look poofy, and they have 5 toes instead of 4. But we don't know its gender, so I, Alex, named it Tribble from Star Trek.

There I am holding the chick, but because it's so poofy, the adult will look like a fluff ball, and they're really friendly, they always want to be pet. But the fluff ball adult and possible version of Tribble: