Falling down into the pit -Nouis AU

Chapter 8

-RECAP-

He agreed and followed me out into one of the bedrooms, Zayn’s, I could tell by all the hair products sitting in the corner next to a big mirror.

“Louis…. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while now…. And the thing is………….” I looked up into his electric orbs and whispered the last part, “I’m in love with you…….”

-END OF RECAP-

 

I looked up into his amazing orbs, searching for anything which would help me predict his next moves. His face was blank, no trace of emotion hiding in the corners or in his eyes. ‘Oh god... this don’t look good....’ I thought to myself after minutes had passed by.

I cleared my throat, trying to get him to say something. “Louis... say something... anything” I pleaded, my voice coming out weaker than I expected. He looked me up and down, as if I was his prey and he was inspecting how nice i would taste, another negative move. Every second felt like a minute, every minute felt like an hour, every hours like a day, every day will last forever, and what else am I gonna do? .....

Soon enough, after what had felt like hours, but was only a matter of minutes, Louis spoke up. “Ni.. “ He took a huge breath before carrying on. “I.. I need to think things through. Lately, lots has been going on, and right now my feelings are confusing me. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say....” He whispered, but i did. I understood every single word he whispered. I nodded my head to say ‘yes’ then whispered a small “ I understand...” before leaving the room.

I walked into my ‘room’ and looked for the small notebook I had packed with me. Geez i haven’t written in it in ages. I opened it up on a new page a proceeded to write.

Saturday 12th April 2014

Hey, god it feels like ages since I’ve written in this, but for some reason I wanted to write in here again. Things have been so complicated lately. My beautiful mum has died, a month ago, i miss her so much and there isn’t a day that goes by where i don’t think of her. I know she wouldn’t want me to be upset because of her death, but i can’t help it. No, I haven’t told the boys. I’m so scared too, I’m scared they will judge me and kick me out of the band. I know they are my brothers, and well... lover... which I will explain after, but you never know how they could react....

Anyway, so lately I have been getting strange feelings for Louis. You know, the whole butterfly’s in your stomach thing which you read in books? And when you get instantly happier when that person is around? How you always want to hang out with them and stuff? Well yeah... those kind of feelings. I have even had the urge to kiss him before, but i ignored it. I remember asking my mum what love felt like, and she said exactly how i feel for Louis. Do i love Louis? Or is it just a faze?  I told him today.. About my feelings that is..... He told me he needed time to think, and that he is confused by how he feels. I told him I understood and left, that’s when I came to this diary. I’m so scared.....

-Love you, Niall Horan

I put my journal back where I found it and sat down on my bed. I want to get out of here, be alone for a while. Maybe I could ask Zayn if he wanted to come to the pub with me or something, hmm. . ..

I got my Iphone out of my pocket and searched for the contact.

To – Zayn

Aye, mate. I was wondering if you wanted to come to the pub with me? A bit of Ziall bonding? Y’know. X

From – Niall.

I put my phone back into my pocket and looked around in bag for something different to wear as my clothes i was wearing didn’t smell too good. I settled for my American tank top, black jeans and white Supras. Once dressed, i got a message.

From - Zayn

Hey, yeah sure. It’s been ages since Ziall was alone aha. Meet you at the door x

In case you was wondering, yes whoever I text I always put a ‘x’. Of course the boys know i mean in a brotherly way, well not to Louis... oh well.....

I tip-toed out of my room and looked around the lounge, everyone was sitting down on the couch watching TV, well all except Louis. “Hey guys, where’s Lou?” I asked as I got all their attention. “He said he didn’t feel too well, so he’s in bed” Harry replied, yeah he doesn’t feel well because the fact of someone like me liking someone like him made him feel sick....

As soon as I reached the door, me and Zayn walked out.

As we walked along the streets, a pub in sight, we was just talking about anything and everything.

“You know.. I’ve missed this.. us... hanging out......alone....” Zayn suddenly whispered. I looked into his hazel eyes and agreed, “Yeah... me too.”

Soon enough, it had grown quiet and we was walking into the pub we had found. Zayn ordered our drinks as I stood there, looking around. This is gonna be fun.

After what felt like a few minutes, but was an hour in reality, I was drunk alongside Zayn. “Hey Zayn.... lets go home now...” I slurred as i tried to pull him out of the pub. As soon as I got out the pub with Zayn, we started to stumble towards the hotel. I have to say, being drunk and trying to walk to an hotel is very hard. I must have fell over about ten times before we were actually at the hotel. Soon enough, i felt arms pull me to the side, pinning me against the hotel wall, and something hitting my lips. That’s the moment i snapped into reality a little bit and figured out what was going on.....