Falling down into the pit -Nouis AU

Chapter 10

-Recap-

Niall’s POV 

I ran into my room. This was all too much. Way too much for someone fragile and vulnerable like me to handle. I am not an attention seeker, nor will i ever be one. Ijust dont understand why he said that, and blamed me strait away..I dont get what i ever did to Harry for him to think this about me.

 I walked into my joined on bathroom and looked for something. I haven’t done this for ages, and now I’m gonna do it again. Only once.. or twice... I promise....But....Of course....Once or twice never happened......

It was way worse than that... and it helped....a lot... I can’t believe I did it....again.... I broke my promise.....“Better wear my long sleeved top” I whispered to myself as I looked down at my arms which were now covered in long, red, new vicious cuts.

-End of recap-

Niall's POV

Its been three days since I first self-harmed. I get that i was a little drunk at the time, but it has pretty much stirred things up again. .. Lately ive had to wear loads of long sleeved tops. Louis still hasnt talked to me about his "feelings" and Harry has been acting different towards me.

----FLASHBAK----

i Woke up at half 9 in the morning. Last night was the first, i kept waking up every half an hour or so.  I got up slowly from my bed and had a nice wash to try and wake me up more. As i looked into the mirror, i noticed small dark circles under my eyes, indicating i was tired and got hardly any sleep. But i also knew you could hardly see them unless you knew and looked closly. I walked over to my wardrobe and ot out some black skinny jeans and my American tanktop, my favourite.

After i had got dressed i trudded downstairs where i could smell bacon and egg. 

Once downstairs i walked into the kitchen where all the other boys was. "Hey Ni" Liam greeted me as i sat down at the table. "Hey...." I whispered. All the boys looked at me in concern, especially Louis, but i just ignored it.

"Breakfast's served" Harry announced and started to put the Egg and Bacon onto the table.  As Harry put my food onto the table, i noticed i had less than the rest of the guys. "Why have i got less..?" I asked/whispered . "Because your always eating" Harry hissed then glared right at me. "Oh...." Was all i could muster up to say.  After i had ate all the food, i looked up and noticed Harry had been glaring at me the whole time. "What..?" I asked him.. only to receive a shrug in responce.

-End of flashback-

That breakfast was so awkward, and ever since then Harry has been giving me small portions of food instead of the usual size he gives everyone else. 

Right now I'm in my room listening to music. It's what ive been doing every since Harry said I was an attention seeker. 

"There.. is not a single word, in the whole world. That could describe the hurt. The dullest knife just sawing back and forth. And ripping through the softest skin there ever was. How are you to know? How are you to know?" The lyrics of Paramore Hate to see your heartbreak filled my ears.

"And I, I hate to see your heartbreak, I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close, But I've been there before, And I, I hate to see your heart break, I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close, But I've been there before"

"Love happens all the time To people who aren't kind, And heroes who are blind, Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes, Who wants an awkward silent mystery?"