M.shadows daughter

37

It's been 3 months since Cody and I started dating and things have not been great. He's a nice guy but it didn't work. We don't have much in common at all. Although we like some of the same music, that was about it. That's why we broke up. But we have remained great friends. Maybe that's all we were meant to be. Maxx and I are still great friends. Zach and Dan are my friends as well but we aren't as close.

Matt left for tour last month. It's just me and Val. Val and I have grown closer. She is like a second mother to me now. Nobody will ever replace my mum. I've grown up a lot aswell. You can change a lot in 3 months. I have learned to deal with the death of my mum and although it still hurts, I don't cry about it or think about her all the time. I have become more mature. I've stopped messing around and started to focus on school and getting a job.

The world seems a lot brighter now. Matt and I have made a real relationship. I started calling him dad. I created a strong bond with the rest of the band. They protect me like Matt does. I love them all so much, they are my family now. I couldn't have asked for a better one. Even though I do wish that my mum was still here. If she was still here my family would be perfect. It doesn't matter though because who really has a perfect life? It may seem like some one does but really there is something going on. The more I think about it, The more I realise that I've never really had a family. I mean I had my mum but as soon as she re-married we drifted apart and she started to ignore me. We never had a mother daughter relationship. I have that with Val. It's kind of nice to have someone to look up to and someone to go to when you have problems only a female would understand. The questions I couldn't ask my dad because I would be way too embarrassed. I have a real family now and I'm happier than I have ever been.

Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe my mum's death was a good thing. It was a way of starting fresh with a new life and a new family. My depression is under control, My anxiety no longer affects me. The world is a strange place. Nobody will ever understand it. Nobody will ever be able to understand how it works and why it does certain things. These things may not always be good but they will always be in your favour, no matter what.

I'm me again. Well actually, I'm not. I've improved. Let's start over, shall we?

Hello, I'm Blake Sanders. Proud daughter of Mathew Sanders and proud step daughter of Valery Sanders. I'm sixteen and live in Huntington Beach, California. My friends are Maxx Danzinger, Cody Carson, Zach Dewall and Dan Clermont. I go to Huntington High. I play many instruments and sing. I love music. My music taste ranges from BTS to Slayer. It's pretty weird but I love it. I love my life and would not change a thing, except maybe my hair colour. Thank you for reading about my crazy, wonderful life.