"Hello baby girl." He places a soft kiss your cheek. You smile weakly at him and keep scrolling through instagram, not being able to look at him.
"How was your day?" you whisper.
"Long. I missed you." You nod, not listening to him. He frowns, staring at you: normally you don't act like this, you jump on him when he gets back home but since his trip finished, you've been acting strange.
He's always the same person, so are you. He's in love with you and you used to love him too.
"I'm gonna take a shower." You say blankly and he nod.
Maybe you need some time. When he finally disappears, you close your phone and run your fingers through your hair, trying to hold your tears. He acts like if nothing has changed.
How can he keep something like it from you? You knew since the airport. Just when you saw his eyes, you knew what happened during the 3 weeks away from you. It's been 2 weeks since he came back and he hasn't told you yet.
You haven't said anything either. he knows something's wrong. You cried for days but now you've stopped. Crying won't change anything. You've felt sad and broken a lot of time in your life but this time is the worst.
Because you're in love with this caring person. You've never wanted to be in love, especially with him - The fasted growing YouTuber, the man that everyone saw hope in, but you couldn't control your feelings, even if you knew that you'll end up hurt. You wanted your little part of happiness . And you got it. But it has disappeared way too quickly to appreciate.
You would like to come back to the time when you were the only one. You rub your eyes and take your glass of Jack Daniels between your fingers. You're about to take a sip when you hear his footstep behind you.
He stands in front of you, with a concern look on his face. You could smile because he's probably the most attractive man in the world right now. But he's not yours anymore. He sits on the sofa in front of you and you finish your glass of whisky before leaving it on the table.
Jake raises his eyebrows, surprised: you never drink alcohol. You hate it. Especially whisky. You stay quiet so does he, looking at you without a word. You keep looking down at your knees, thinking of a way to talk to him. It's like he doesn't know that you know him better than anyone else. The way he holds you in his arms, the way he kisses you. It's all different, he's scared of losing you and you can feel it in every way possible.
"I know." You finally say. He frowns and tilts his head to the side. You can't know about her. He erased every part of her from his life . But the way you look at him proves him otherwise. Your eyes previously full of love are now sad and dark. His eyes widen when he realizes when he should've realized two weeks ago: you know everything.
"Baby, I'm..."
"Sorry? I know. But it won't change anything." You interrupt him. The calm in your voice surprises him. You're not crying, you're not yelling at him, you're absolutely calm. So you've probably done all those things before. You kept it for you for two weeks: he doesn't want to imagine how hurt you've been. He sits on the sofa near you and takes your hands that are incredibly cold. You look down at your interlaced fingers.
"I know baby, I know it won't change anything but I missed you so much and I hadn't talked to you for days and I wanted a way to forget. She was a mistake, a big mistake, and she didn't even mean anything." He admits.
Your heart breaks for the millionth time in two weeks when he finally admits it. A big part of you has been hoping that you just have been imagining. But you have your confirmation. He did it. Your hands leave his and you can read the sadness and guiltiness in his beautiful eyes.
"(Y/N), she's nothing, you are my life. I wanted to tell you but I was...so scared. I don't want to lose you, I'm in love with you."
"I know, Jake. I'm not angry. It can sound weird but I think that it's not your fault. It's mine. Because I thought that you were mine and only mine but I was wrong. I am so wrong." He takes your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look up at him, your eyes meeting his brown irises. It's worse than he expected: you think that it's your fault. It's not, it's his. He's the one who ruined everything. You can't blame yourself.
"Babe, love, princess, listen to me. I'm yours. My heart is yours, everything of me is yours. It's not your fault, okay? It's mine and I...I'm probably the worst boyfriend on the earth and I feel awful because you're hurt because of me and I can't handle it and if you...If you want to leave me I would understand because who would want to stay with a man like me." He says with a slit toned of anger which breaks at the end.
You blink a few times to realize what his saying and finally frown. His hand leaves your chin when you wrap your arms around his neck for a hug. He doesn't move for a few seconds, not knowing how he's supposed to react. You're not supposed to hug him; you're supposed to yell at him.
"I'm not gonna leave you Jake. I will never leave you. You're not the worst man on the earth. You made a mistake and we all make mistakes. But you can't say that no one wants a man like you because I want you. I just need some... time, to get used to it. I'm not gonna leave you Jake, and if you say that she's nothing for you, so she's just another nightmare. But if you say something like that again, I will hit you. I love you, Jake." You murmur in his ear with a shaking voice.
His heart starts beating a little faster when he hears your words, his arms wrapping by themselves around your waist to finally hug you back, his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck. He doesn't deserve you. He's about to ask you but finally gives up: he doesn't really want you to slap him.
"No more secrets." You say and slowly pull back. Jake smiles and nods, his forehead against yours.
"I promise no more secrets."
