BORROWED TIME || J.JK

••×e n t r y 19ו•

••×e n t r y 19ו•

[Dear Jungkook,
It hurts hearing you tell stories about that someone you love. Though, I fake a smile so you won't see the real pain inside me.]

YOUR POV.

He dragged me out of the convenience store, hand griping strong at my wrist. My heart thumping so hard, I couldn't react to what's happening. . . The only thing I remember is we're walking down the pathwalk to an empty backyard of a abandoned house. We stop in front of the white painted wall that seemed so blank.

"J-Jungkook... What are we doing here?" I asked as my breathe hitched when his hand grazed my back pulling me forward to the wall.

He beamed a toothy bunny smile at me, showing a brown paper bag slinging to his hands (which I didn't know that he was holding awhile ago because I'm too busy fantasizing about him.) I looked at him suspiciously before darting my gaze inside the paper bag. The paper bag contains various colors of spray paint.

"What are we going to do with that?" I asked him once again, earning a light chuckle from him.

He smiled at me teasingly as he stepped forward, making me back away with panic evident in my eyes. "I saw what you did last night." He winked at me.

My heart fluttered, knowing that he barely shows this kind of him in front of the cameras. I wondered; how can a cute face turn into sexy real quick!?

"S-Saw me. . . wh-what?" I stuttered stepping back more, his reflexes was to step forward more.

"I saw you. . . vandalizing last night. Didn't you know that you were vandalizing somewhere near our dorm, I could see you down the window." He wiggled his brows at me playfully.

I let out a nervous laugh, trying to avoid his void of soul eating gazes. "O-Oh! You saw me. . . please d-don't report ne to the police." I piped down, voice lowering every time words escape my mouth.

He nodded at me, still grinning like an idiot, he brought one spray paint on my hand. The cold metallic body of the bottle touching my skin sent shivers down my spine.

I remembered vandalizing last night after chatting with him... I felt so upset, I needed my anger to subside; finding something to let out my rage and that was vandalizing.

"Teach me how to vandalize! I saw how cool you did there last night. I'm so amazed." Jungkook leaned at me pleadingly with his doe puppy-like eyes. "I didn't know you were that cool. I mean, I'm a fan of arts and when I saw you last night, I got really into it. The abstract you painted the blank walls looked like you put deep feelings into it. It was sad, but beautiful."

He's eyes soften at the end of his sentence. It sounded like he saw how I felt last night after knowing that he kinda liked me back then, but he gaved up on me. He saw right through my art.

"Well. . . I'm a fine art student, after all." I broke the deafening silence when he didn't talked again. I felt his gaze pierce at my back. I knew he wanted to ask me something, but I wouldn't allow it. I won't let him know how I fucking feel shitty of myself!

I started teaching him the basics in vandalizing. It had been my hobby ever since I entered college. Every time I'm so lost of my thoughts, confused, or mad at some things I vandalized how I feel to blank walls. It felt like I'm telling the world how I feel, somehow. I've always been a blank person just like these walls. . . so I thought maybe I could show my emotions somewhere, even though I'm blank and empty.

"So. . . yup! That's it!" I chimed. "You actually did a good job."

I grinned at him showing two thumbs up. He smiled back.

"Our work looks different than what you painted last night Y/N." He scanned our work with gleaming eyes, "It doesn't look sad, just like you did last night. It was colorful and happy now." A smile planted on his lips.

"That's because you're the one who painted and drew that. I just thought you stuff." I mumbled. "Maybe, you're happy that's why it looked happy."

He beamed at me. "Can I asked you something?"

"You're already asking."

"Aish! rude..." He pouted cutely, a small smile didn't get away from my fleeting feelings towards him. "I wanted to ask. . . wh-why-- why you draw sad- no! I mean why do you vandalize?"

He seemed hesitant about his question and I know it wasn't his real question that he's curious about, he happen to slid into other one just to make sure he won't invade any personal space or problems I'm having.

"I don't like it when the walls are blank. It doesn't attracts anyone, so I'm trying to help the wall." I answered somehow truthfully.

I helped the wall to be attractive because I know the feeling of looking plain for everyones eyes, being not liked and admired back, not being noticed. Saying it hurts is an understatement.

"Mm... So what do we do now?" He asked, eyes overlooking the signature we made 'JK×Y/N' his eyes glistens in satisfaction.

I smiled in awe, I did enjoy this short moment I had with him. For briefly a few hours, I get to be this close to him and I even talked to him comfortably right now. I did not stutter nor stammer on my words. . . we just talk casually. I was too enjoying that I'd hope time would stop forever.

I'd never really thought, he's like a defenseless child. Someone so gullible and giddy about new stuff in earth. He still look like a bouncy bunny just like in their dubut days.

"Let's get out of here before someone finds out." I told him packing our canned paints.

As we walk together side by side he started to tell stories about how silly and funny his hyungs are, jumping into another topic which is music then to another one which is his troubles and lastly. . . talking about his girlfriend, how they met, how much he loved her, how much lucky he was to have her, how happy he is now and how he planned his future with his girl.

I smiled and sometimes laugh at his story. I faked it all so he won't have to see how pained I am right now. How my heart was shattering and breaking into pieces.

Jeon Jungkook. Why are you doing this to me?

Do you know how much hurt I am right now? I wanted to replace her. I envy her. She seems nice, but I hated her. She's so lucky to have you. . . the reason for the teardrops in my guitar. You, who is the reason I kept wishing at the wishing stars. You're that one song I always sing. I wanted you mine, but seeing how happy you are right now, felt like I did the right thing of trying to let you go.

I am trying. I really am.

--

Z: Taylor Swift y'all😂😂😂