BORROWED TIME || J.JK

••×e n t r y 25ו•

••×e n t r y 25ו•

[Dear Jungkook,
I've always loved you from afar and I am very much aware that anytime soon, this great daydream you're making me feel will vanish in the deepest core of my soon to be past.]

You kissed him back like there's no forever, knowing that this moment will soon turn and remain as a memory of him with you. Melting at every touche of his lips that were collided sinfully onto yours. Both of you knew it was wrong, but what could be more wrong this time? When you're already feeling your world fall apart as much as his lips claims more of yours hungrily.

His hands going anywhere and elsewhere, but your body. Pinning down and feeling his heated body hovered above your softness. You muffled few muted moans as you felt his lips move to your flesh above your chest. Your heart gone beating wild and loud, feeling his soft and wet pair of lips giving your butterfly and pleasurable kisses. It was driving you crazy.

Both of you knew you wanted more.

Jungkook groaned, as his breathing ragged when your knee accidentally grazed his lower abdomen. It was awaken. Both of you knew.

"Let's stop this." You muttered under your breathe. You didn't want him to stop. No you don't. But if this happening meant ruining one another, you'd definitely decline.

Both of you fucked up! You were both starting to ruin your friendship. And as much as you don't want to be honest and to hurt your feelings, you knew. . . that what he was feeling wasn't love at the mere moment. It was lust and the pity he felt towards you, mixing together, as a lie as love. At least it is what you know.

Jungkook on the other hand was hurt hearing a rejection from you. His dark hooded eyes soften at your fragile and week figure, lying breathless at a hospital bed. He wasn't sure why he was hurt or why he felt a pang of pain hugging his heart when you declined him. He felt small and stupid and idiotic for doing such thing to you without even being marked as his or as his property. He felt like a thief that could and would steel someone's virginity just because he wanted that body riding him. He felt humiliated and dirty and disappointed about himself.

Why was he like this? Why did he do it? Why did he almost do it? Why was it with you? Why did he felt this way to you? Never in his life that he wanted someone so bad that he'll feel upset and frustrated after getting rejected. Never in his life that he thought he'd do such thing behind his girlfriend. Never in his life he thought that he'll cheat behind someone he loves.

No. He wasn't like that.

But with you... All the lines and all the walls that he kept making and building was always to be melted with just one kiss. Was it possible?

He ran his slender fingers through his dark hair before pulling out a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry." He mumbled before leaving you astonished in your hospital room.

××

Hours that felt like forever and days that felt like eternity happened in a span of a time, but Jungkook was never to be seen again.

You were recovering pretty fast. Your leg wasn't broken at all just like how Jungkook said it was. It was a few little fractures, but eventually. . . everything was healing pretty fast. You're even back to your old pad just resting for some few more days.

Not even in the mood of wanting to do anything, you just stared outside your window admiring the beautiful bright scenery that lies before your eyes. It was a sunny afternoon with a slightly cold breez, making you want to seek for heat as you hug your favorite stuffed animal deeper onto your chest as you relaxed your back at the fabric of your wheelchair.

You wished; life could always just be like this. A life where you could just try and be happy for him.

You wanted a life without ruining someone else's.

A life without him.

"Could I possibly do it?" You asked yourself, as a small smile crept onto your lips. Fingers glazing at the stuffed animal's fur.

A life without him, meaning; you'll never stalk him again or find news about him nor BTS. A life without him was like trying to know somebody you have never met before. A life without him is like forgetting that you're a fan and an ARMY. A life without him is like returning to the darkness you were once lost at. A life without him is accepting the fact that he'll forever remain 'unyours'. A life without him is being happy even without concerning him to your life anymore.

No more selfish selfishness. No more faking. No more pretending. No more restrictions. No more last regrets. No more life concerning about him. No more daydreaming. And no more Jungkook.

Could you possibly do it?

"I'll learn to be happy for you, Jungkook." That one sentence that slipped through your lips.

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