Phat Is Me Honey (Complete and Slowly being edited)

Phat Is Me Honey Chapter 22(urban) (The real one)

Not edited!!! So forgive me im human

“I can’t believe you would ask me a question like that. I can’t love someone I couldn’t  forgive long enough to get into heaven.” His eyes softened and he whipped my tears.

“I'm sorry.” He kissed my lips.

"Um" I walked back over to the bed.

Man, im hurt.  I feel like I just got a built to the heart. Im a lot of things but healed from what Keith did to myself and my babies is not one of them. I did nothing but give him love and life; the only thing he did was take it from me.

Im surprised I've made it this far in life. I could have clicked out so many times, but instead
I shut everything out. I kept a close circle of friends. 

I mean if something happened to Kim and Lyfe while I was going through my trying time, I wouldn't have been breathing.

"Beautiful you hear me." Jayceon said.

"Huh."

"I said im bout to hop in the shower." I nodded my head ok.

I pulled out my diary.

Dear diary,

You remember when i said I was ready for love well I lied. I lied so bad, and maybe its me being scared that im walking down the same road I did with Keith.  I know its bad to relate everything back to him but im messed up in the head for real. I feel that at any minute im going to crack. Im wait for Jayceon to fuck up. Im waiting for him to hurt me, just like Keith. Maybe I need to be careful for what I ask for. Im confused and lost I feel like I need to scream, cry, and cuss all at the same time. Im going through so many things I don't even realize that I might have the best thing in the world right before my eyes. I just don't know what to do with him. He doesn't understand anything and I don't really want to explain. I just can't let him in it's to hard to revisit the horrible things that happened in my life. I just don't know what to do with myself. Anyway peace love and hair grease.

Sincerely,

Beautiful Honesty Jones

"B, you good?" I had tears running down my cheeks. I hadn't noticed that or that Lyfe had walked in the room.

I put my diary away, "im fine dick head." I whipped my tears away.

"Man I came in hear to talk to you, not to be insulted. " I rolled my eyes.

"Im not the one who you need to be talking to."

"Beautiful please hear me out." His eyes were pleading to me.

"Go ahead im listening." I folded my arms across my chest.

"Im scared shitless B. I mean damn im not ready for a baby. I can't do this man. What if I fuck up. I-" I cut him off.

"Shut up cuz you talking out you ass. Boy do you only think about yourself?" He opened his mouth to speak.  "That was a rhetorical question nigga."

I shook my head. "I don't think you understand that you have not only fucked your relationship, but cut Kim deep. You asked her if that was your baby like she don't eat, sleep, and breath NasirAmair Lyfe Carter. There is not a moment that she's not think about your old ass. You're 25 Kim turns 18 in September. You've lived life for the most part. You're not the only one losing things Lyfe. She is about to miss so many school events and opportunities to have a baby. Your bsby. My girl is going to have to work her ass off just to make it through. Baby you need to wake up and smell the mutherfucking rose. Don't be that dead beat Lyfe. Kim deserves better and so does y'all son." Lyfe had tears running down his face snot dripping all out his nose.

"You right." Was all he said.

"I know I am, I always am. Now go clean yourself up and go to Mama April's house and make sure Kim and the baby haven't been drowned in holy water." He chuckled.

"Come over here and give me a hug. It might be your last one." I mumbled the last part.

"Man why would you say that." He kissed his teeth.

"You heard me." I laughed.

"Yes nigga." He hugged me.

"Don't worw you'll be a wonderful dad. You were a great uncle you can do it. I believe in you, and im always here for you and Kim."

He pulled away and kissed my forehead. "Thanks baby girl."

"Your welcome." He walked out the room. As soon as he closed the door the bathroom door opened.

Jayceon looked at me. "You good?"

"Im fine." He sighed. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said.

"Obviously it's something if you breathing heavy." I raised my voice a little.

His jaw clinched,  "bring your voice down i ain't getting hype with you so don't get hype with me. All im saying is my aunt told me when a female says she fine she's really not." He looked at me for along time.

"Beautiful I'm here to love you and help you. I can see in your eyes you not fine; and its not just because I killed Keith.  I don't read minds baby I can't help you if you want allow me."
I bit my lip, "just," he paused and walked closer to me "let me help you, please." He pleaded.

hello my sweetheart,

I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for you get well wishes. I've been working on this for along time I hope y'all like a d enjoy it. I've also been thinking about starting a blog, so if you think I should tell me what you want me to talk about. Anyway I love y'all with all my heart and thanks for holding me down while I've been sick.

Love,

Zanboo