Melt for me

Chapter twenty four

                                                    **Elsa**

I hate horses. The smell of damp, pee filled hay when you stand beside them. There huge, wild beasts that you can't control without force.  I remember being small, far too small to be riding a horse alone but as the future Queen, I had to learn.  My father placed me on the horse, my tiny legs could barely reach the horse's side.  I guess the horse sensed my fear and unwillingness to go on, because the horse reared up and through me off.  I was so shocked that I didn't even shed a tear, just screamed on the top of my lungs. 

I have never gone on one since.

So I just stare at the beast I am supposed to get on. A rusty red fur coat  that gleams in the sunlight, brown eyes stare at me, daring me to get on its back. I gulp, not feeling as confident as I did before.  The horse throws its head back and gives me a high pitched neigh.  I step away slowly. Okay... maybe its not that good a idea. I mean I rather dance then ride on a huge beast that may or may not kill me. 

Anna hops on her horse with ease, not even accepting help from Kristoff. Completely different from me, Anna was built for riding horses. She can jump, canter  and trot like its second nature. She has a way with horses that I will never be able to understand.  Kristoff jumps on Sven and goes next to Anna, he tells a joke which makes her laugh and punch him in the shoulder. There so perfect for each other....

A hand comes down on my shoulder, I whip around expecting to see Jack but its not Jack, its Lord Raven.  He smiles at me. "Would you like help up on your horse, Milady?"  He sees me hesitate. "Its okay your majesty. I won't anything hurt you."

I won't let anything hurt you.

Those familiar words ring in my ears, remembering how Jack said those to me once. It doesn't seem right coming from Lord Raven's lips.  "Make it look like your jumping up yourself,"  Jack whispers in my ear. I barely have time to grab onto the reins when Jack lifts me up from the ground and gracefully puts me on the horse.  My mouth is in a surprised 'o' shape. Jack stands pats the horses nose and looks at me with a smirk. I turn away from him, praying he doesn't see the blush on my cheeks.

"It seems you didn't need my help," Lord Raven says.  "Dam right she didn't," Jack mutters under his breath.  I smile brightly at Lord Raven; "I didn't know I had it in me."  A stable hand brings out Lord Raven's horse and my stomach drops. Its coat is black as the night, with dark eyes to match. The horse makes my own horse uneasy.  Lord Raven trots up to me,  a simple smile on his face. "Shall we?" He asks.  Anna pulls up beside me, Kristoff on her right and Lord Raven on my other side. 

I nod and kick my horse's  side lightly, he springs into a lively trot. I grip the reins tightly, so much that my knuckles are turning white. Anna is talking up a storm, trying to get to know Lord Raven as much as she can. I am about to tell Anna to stop pestering him but Lord Raven doesn't look annoyed but calm and just happy to talk to Anna. That surprises me, since most are put off by Anna's need to babble. Kristoff is silent but watches Anna like a hawk . He doesn't enjoy Lord Raven's company as much as Anna does.

Jack floats beside me, I try and ignore him but its hard to. "Ease up Elsa, you don't need to grip the reins so hard," Jack says taking my hands off of the reins a bit. He shouldn't have done that because no sooner does he touch my hands, that a shock of electricity runs up my spine. I let go of the reins nearly falling off,  but  Lord Raven catches me and pushes me back onto my horse. I grip the reins even harder now.

"Most people think that holding the reins lightly is the way to go but really you need a firm grip on them," He explains, showing me how hard he is holding his reins. Jack huffs. "You look a little pale, could it be that you're afraid?"  I shake my head quickly, I don't wanting  to look weak in front of Lord Raven.  He reach across the space between our horses and gives my hand a squeeze. "Fear is  wonderful thing. Don't let it stun you but let it motivate you." 

He gives my hand one last squeeze before going back to talk to Anna.  Let fear motivate you? I have never heard someone say that before. Its a strange saying and yet it fits me perfectly.  I always thought that fear was something to twist you into something you're not. To blind you to all rational thinking expect survival.  My fear of horses is a silly one but Lord Raven just told me that its okay to be afraid. 

I have always suppressed my fears and I let it boil and fester  inside of me until I'm ready to burst.

I close my eyes trying to block out the memory of Jack saying no to me. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes  up, why would he want to go to the ball with me? Why would anyone want to go with me anyway?  I am not sure of my feelings for Jack, only that he is the only one who understands me and yet he can't even stand to stay with me for a night.

My emotions twist and turn, like ocean waves of confusion.  A new fear of Jack hating me comes to mind and who wouldn't hate a girl with a scarred soul and heart? Who above else, fears herself and what she can do to others. These hands aren't beautiful at all, there disgusting and vile. With ice powers streaming in my system, everything about me is disgusting and vile.

How could Jack ever love a beast in human form? How could anyone love a beast in human form...?

I can feel my horse's pulse quicken underneath me. His breathing becomes rapid and deep. I pat his side, trying to calm him but that only seems to fuel his rage. He throws his head back, making his mane flick me in the face. For  a second I think I see black mist enter my horse's ears but I shake my head and see nothing.

Something changes in my horse. He has a crazy look in his eyes, foam is coming from his mouth. I flinch when he speeds up. I let go of the reins and grab his neck, holding on for dear life. He gives a neigh that sounds more like a human scream. "Elsa!" Anna shouts. That's when everything goes into chaos. My horse launches into a full run, running so fast that he is spraying dirt every where.

I grip onto his neck, afraid to even move. I can hear Anna screaming my name and the sound of hooves on the dirt road.  Fear pumps through my veins as I bury my head in the horses mane. The horse makes a jerky movement to the left, taking us off of the main road an onto a old deserted one.  Tall, sickly trees line the side of the road and a eerie green mist clings to the ground, making it look like shadows are slipping in and out of the darkness.

Jack... where's Jack?

I hear rustling behind us, twigs snapping, branches creaking.  That's all the horse needs to speed up. I never thought this horse could run this fast but I was wrong. Wind whips at my face, making it sting and burn.  I see a bridge up ahead, its old and falling into the river. Moss and greenery has taken over the small bridge but still the horse presses on.

"Okay you can stop now.. Please just...JUST STOP!"  I lean in to look at the horse but all I see in  eyes a vacancy, like its personality itself is gone. "ELSA!" Jack screams. I look behind to see him frantically flying towards me, like the devil himself is on his tail. 

Its like someone has seized up my throat, I can't breath, I can't scream. I look at Jack helplessly.  Fear has stunned me, fear never motivates me.  

The horse doesn't stop at the broken bridge, he jumps. I feel myself hover over the seat, I frantically try and grab on to something but I slip off of the horse and into the rushing river.

The water grabs me under, not waiting for me to take one last  breath. I try and kick up to the surface but the current takes a hold of me, bashing me against rocks. There is no way up or down. Only darkness, only fear.  My heavy riding clothes start pulling me to the bottom of the river, away from the surface, away from Jack. Maybe it's better this way.... maybe its better if I just die.  I let go of my breath and let water enter my lungs.

The last thing I see is blue eyes, brilliant blue eyes that shine brighter then the stars above.