The Lifeguard

Chapter 25

"You didn't touch your breakfast?" Connor asked, as he grabbed the tray on the table. I didn't answer him. "Do you want to eat something else? I can cook something for you. Just tell me what you want."

"Bring me back to the hotel. That's what I want."

He gave me a sullen look. "I will take you back to the hotel, but not today. You need to eat."

"I don't want to eat."

"I'm not going to let you starve. I'll cook something else for you." Connor left the room, and closed the door behind him.

I stayed, sitting down on the bed with my hands wrapped around my knees. I don't know what I should be feeling right now towards Connor. The only thing I'm sure of is that after all the things he said, I still feel something for him. But it's hard for me to trust him nor believe him. I have no idea if I should be convinced by his side of the story. Everything I've heard is against my father. For them, he is the bad guy.

I walked over to the door. I turned the knob to open it. I slowly walked outside, heading downstairs. The house looks shabby, but still in style. The interiors are up to date, and modern. It was clean like someone still lives here. I was walking around when I accidentally bump my foot to the table on the corner. The picture frame fell down, and broken glasses scattered all over the floor. I grabbed the picture first and looked at it. It was a family picture of Connor and Alexander with their parents, supposedly. They looked so happy despite of what happened to them. I picked up the broken glasses very careful to not poke myself.

"Hey." Connor popped behind me. "Don't touch those." I placed the broken glasses down on the floor. He came closer.

I handed him the picture frame without the glass. "Sorry. I didn't mean to break this."

"No. It's fine."

"Where are we?"

"We're still in Miami." Connor chuckled. I managed to titter. "It's a family beach house. It used to be my parent's property but Alexander and I bought it so no one else will."

I nodded. "Aren't you cooking? I think I smell something burning." Connor ran to the kitchen, and I followed. I sat down on a chair. "Sorry. I'll just make salad for you."

"Don't sweat it. I'm fine," I told him. He didn't listen. He went through the fridge and still made a salad for me. I didn't say anything else until he sat down beside me, serving me the salad. "I'm sorry for everything. I'm not saying I believe everything you said but I'm still sorry. If my father really had something to do with everything, I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything. You're not the one that should be sorry."

I swallowed. "I want to believe you, but it's my father we're talking about."

"And it's my family... I want justice, Zoe. I want the person at fault to pay for what happened. I lost my parents. I lost my brother. I lost a family. You should understand because you lost a sister. And if it was your father then he deserves to be in jail." His voice changed. I could feel how upset he is. "But if getting that justice means losing you then I don't want it."

I placed my fork down, feeling surprised. "If it was him... It would only be right to send him to jail." Saying those words took guts, and so hearing myself. It is the right thing to do, I thought. If it was any person, then he does need to be locked in jail. At the end of the day, Connor is right. Justice is what he needs. It is what I need for losing Chloe.

"You don't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"Trying to be righteous."

I raised my eyebrows, offended. "I'm not trying to be anything, Connor. You want justice? Then be it. Go after my dad. Go put him in jail or something. Feel free to break my family apart. It's barely holding together, anyway."

Connor stood up. "Now, you don't get to do that! I will not break your family apart. I care about you and I know, deep inside that is not what you want. You don't want that person behind bars because that person is your father! I lost my family, but I don't want you to go through the same. I'm not a monster, Zoe."

"Isn't that what you planned all along? To do the right thing? To have him at fault? You wanted vengeance. Well you're few steps away from getting what you want."

"He is at fault!"

"You don't know that!" Now I'm standing in front of him, screaming on his face and hitting him. I'm angry. I'm angry at him, and at the world. "Why does it have to be this way?" Tears started falling down. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I hit him again. Connor pulled me close to him, putting his hands around me. "Why is the universe making us suffer like this? What did we do to deserve this? We were just children when this whole chaos started. We didn't do anything but we're the one suffering," I wept.

"I love you," he whispered. "I don't care... I don't care if I don't get justice. I love you."

"I can't... We can't be with together. I can't be with you, even if I want to. I've been trying to tell myself that I can erase my feelings for you, that I can forget about you, but I can't do it too. I can't do anything about my father, about you, about my feelings. I'm useless." I continued sobbing, while Connor embraced me tighter.

Is this the payment for what my father could possibly done? My happiness for his possible felony? It's so unfair, I told myself.