The Lifeguard

Chapter 45

Dear Connor,

     The first time I saw you, I never thought that a lifeguard would willingly swim across the ocean for me nor dive in the deepest, darkest water. But you were. You were more than willing to swim the ocean, fight the sea monsters, and go through the strom for me. And I am beyond thankful to know that you would do such things to save me and be with me. But you don't have to do all of that or go through that alone. From now on, I will swim with you.

By the time you're reading this, I'm already gone. And I am sorry. I'm sorry because I left and could not wait for you. I'm sorry because I'm weak. I'm sorry because I couldn't find any courage in my body to tell you that it hurt. I didn't want you to see me suffering. I'm sorry because I cannot fulfill our dreams. I was not able to live the life we hoped for and planned. But I believe that you will get through this because you're the strongest person I know.

     I want you to live your life and fulfill your dreams. I want you to be happy. I want all the great things for you. You can grief and cry but not too long because l would rather see you live your life than hurting.

     Be happy because everything is finally okay. Be grateful that we were given a time to be with each other. And be hopeful for the greatest things that will come to your life. Because I am. I'm happy because of you. You made me feel everything. You loved me more than I deserve. And I am grateful. I'm grateful because we got to be together even if we were only given a short time. You have given me a taste of the perfect life I wanted. I'm grateful for every seconds of my life that I spent with you. But most importantly, I am grateful to you. And I hope someday you'll find the person that will make you happier than I did. And when that time comes, I want you to choose yourself and your happiness. Do what will make you happy.

     I may be gone, but I will forever stay with you. I will always be here. And I will love you endlessly.

Love,
Zoe