Love Was Made To Break (Andy Biersack Wmbm)

Chapter Nine

Andy's Pov
My theory of over thinking, back with the talk with CC. I knew I should have just trusted what I was feeling in my gut. It now is the truth and I knew I should have trusted myself the first time I suspected it.

I had that damn gut feeling back a month ago when me and Bryce took a nap, even as far back to the car ride when the tour had started. I knew something was up with him, I wish I had never started the childish fight with him. Because deep down I needed him more then I knew. He really he's my everything, my home, my best friend and now he is hurting alone.

I know he is self-harming and last week with the whole tattoos thing proved it and I felt more then terrible. I'm his best friend, I should have noticed something was bugging him and all along, the feeling never ever lies.

I knew he had been self harming himself pulling my hair back. I looked around the busy dressing room not spotting him making me scowl a small bit. For fuck sakes, maybe doing it in a public setting wouldn't be the best idea to confront him.

I saw Juliet messing with her hair in the mirror, I made my way over to her, she looked up smiling brightly at me. "Hey babe what's the matter?" She asked me curious pulling her hair back once more. I licked my bottom lip. "Dragon fly where's Bryce?" I questioned her she tilted her head a bit, like she wasn't expecting that.

"Why?" She asked me, moving her hair to one side, scooping up her eyeliner going back to looking in the mirror applying it. I looked at her like she had grown a second head, yet I shook it off continuing to question her.

"I need to talk to him," I answered like it was the most obvious thing in the entire damn world, she chewed her lower lip nodding a few times, going back to her makeup.

"I think he went to the roof to smoke," She commented I had to do a double take at her through the reflection. "You let him go to the roof when he is suicidal." I snapped at her so quickly in a flash like instant she stared right back at me.

"Andy babe he is a big boy, he can take care of himself it's not that big of a deal?" I found myself pinching the bridge of my nose so harshly taking feel calm breaths in the best my ability.

"Juliet it's not that big of a deal? Self-harm depression and suicide is a big deal it's serious oh god." I breathed out quickly shaking my head at her.

I stormed out the dressing room with her calling my name out, I just ignored her for now. I was pissed right now rushing around the venue in every area that I could look in. I quickly found the stairwell that leads to the roof and luckily it was already still unlocked stepping up and climbing up the stairs leading up there.

I saw the dark night sky, lot up with millions of stars. The sight very mesmerizing from first glance. I shut the door behind me with a soft like click, breathing out looking at the mist that followed. It was quite chilly out tonight I spotted the mist seeing a figure sitting on the edge of the rooftop on the ledge.

Carefully moving towards Bryce's figure, I sat down beside him seeing him leaning on the entire railing looking down brilliant everything. "Hey." Bryce breathed out in a whisper speaking to me first. I smiled sadly looking down not being able to meet his eyes at first. "Hey." I whispered back, Bryce held his cigarette between his fingers letting the end burn out with the grey ash.

"I wasn't gonna jump you know that." He muttered to me, slightly side eyeing me from the corner of his eyes. Focusing on the main reflection of the moonlight behind his glasses. I sighed deeply.

"You still worry me you know...? I never know what you are thinking." I whispered in response, Bryce then let me see his lips twitch to a faint smile I noticed his dreads were down from his usual ponytail resting on his neck. He passed me the cigarette and I took it inhaling and then slowly blowing the smoke out watching the cloud in the night sky.

"Let me see?" I finally found the courage to say. Not looking at him for a moment. Bryce slowly pulled his sleeves down exposing me his arms that were bandaged, showing me fresh cuts right there as well on his wrist was his tattoos there in full display.

"Yeah I know they're ugly... I know I can't take them back but I can't help it." He muttered, looking away from my eyes. I spoke over him."They're not ugly don't say that," I called in a hard tone slowly putting the cigarette out, once we both were finished with it.

"You are strong Bryce and have been for so long, you never ever have to hide from me because I am the only one that knows you best." I snapped out sternly to him hoping he would finally get the message. I wanted to cry why does he keep doing this breaking our promises. "Who else knows?" I asked him.

Bryce shook his head light years escaping him, he lifted his sleeves up to rub under his glasses at his cheeks. "Jinxx.. I trust him. And spilled it all on accident." Bryce weakly whimpers out, I found my heart aching at that sudden tone. "You don't trust me?" I finally cracked out shifting to gaze at him.
"Bryce I'm your best friend." I trembled out."We tell each other everything you come to me." I snapped out silently tears leaving me.

I was hurt and troubled by this, how long has he felt like he voiding trust me anymore. "And you can't trust me." I cracked out even more bringing my own palms to roughly swipe away the tears. The entire time he was so silent not saying a word.

Bryce squeezed his eyes shut behind his glasses. "Because I never was in your mind Andy I never was." Bryce whimpered out. I cried quietly, "that's not true and you know it." I defended.

"Juliet comes before me, and I'm not gonna make you pick between love it's not right." Bryce trembled out, his sleeve slightly covering at his lower mouth, loud sniffles filling the air.

"I love her Bryce." I snapped sadly through my own fresh tears, "I thought you were happy for me Bryce." I cracked out emotionally I felt drained because what could I do?

"I am Andy I've always been happy for you." Bryce snapped harshly at me, "but you use to love me too." Bryce muttered, "It..." Bryce whispered slowly letting his voice trail off shaking his head in dismissal, "I can't." He whimpered. I quickly pulled him back down so he could run away from slowly I hugged him back into me making him rest on my chest.

Bryce was trying to fight back but slowly I felt he relaxed into the embrace soft cries muffled, I let my tears keep coming down silently.

"Its okay I'm here now I'm so sorry," I whispered, Bryce held his fist on my chest shaking more hard. I shut my eyes deeply. "I'm sorry for making you feel alone because you're not alone."