you never walk alone | pjm

Chapter / 12

Dear Diary,
It's been 3 weeks since the first article. It's been 3 weeks since I last talked to them. The rumours spread quickly, and to protect their image, I stayed away - just like I said I would. It wasn't easy, I admit. I wanted to see them every day. I'd made 6 new friends and I didn't want to be away from them for so long. But you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

They'd call me, text me, FaceTime me, but I never picked up. Even their manager called me. But I didn't answer. I hoped that they'd forget about me. No I didn't. Yes I did. Oh, I don't know. Whatever I did and felt worked though - the rumours died down and almost everyone forgot about the 'unknown female'.

Anyway. School started again. So I went to Uni every day. It kept me busy and it helped me 'forget' about everything. I'd go to my lessons, take notes, do homework, read and do every other thing that a normal girl my age would do. Except for talk to anyone. I can't even remember what my own voice sounds like. But it's better this way. I think.

Love,
Rosie xx

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The doorbell woke me up. I was taking a nap, tired from school. Quickly throwing my messy hair into a ponytail, I walked slowly to the door.

"Who is it?!" I called.

No answer. Groaning, I opened the door. It was Jimin. Standing with a box of chocolates and two cans of beers.

Damn it. How did he find me?! Not even Taehyung knows where I live. No one knows where I live. Only one conclusion: he's a stalker.

"What're you doing here," I said bluntly.

"You're hurting," he said. "I know you are. But you can't just push everyone out of your life. Especially the people who care about you. You're hurting them at the same time and it's not fair. Let me in. Please."

Sighing, I opened the door wider. Thankfully I cleaned up my house yesterday. I realised that living with mouldy rice and rotting takeaway wasn't the best idea. So I cleaned up everything. Thank god for that.

"You can't be here," I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I... You just can't. Don't you have stuff?"

"Stuff?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah," I said. "Performances, broadcasts, whatever."

"No." He replied.

Confused and tired, I slumped down onto the floor. He sat beside me and offered me a beer. I took it and drank it all at once. I needed that. But what I didn't need, was someone I cared about coming into my house to remind me how much I missed him and the rest of the members.

"Talk to me," he said, drinking.

"About what," I said, looking at the floor.

He pulled my chin up to look at him. "About everything."

So for the next 30 minutes, I told him about school and homework and takeaway and studying and exams and pop quizzes. But then that lead to me talking about how lonely I was, and how tired I was. Not just physically, but mentally. I was constantly thinking about things; school and exams, obviously, but also about friendships and relationships. How did I go from being a happy and cheery girl to being so depressed and tired?!

As I talked about how sad it was and how stressful it was, I started to cry. At first I didn't let the tears roll down, but in the end I was crying rivers.

"Come here," Jimin sighed, and pulled me into a hug.

I was shaking and crying and sniffling and drooling (ew) but he didn't mind. His arms stayed around my waist until I was ready to let go.