Impossible - James Arthur fanfiction

Chapter Eleven

I'm woken up the next  morning to the sun streaming through the window and the sound of James' snoring - the sound that every girl obviously dreams to wake up to!

Less than a minute later, I feel movement next to me, and then feel the familiar arms being wrapped around me and pulling me in for a cuddle. I can't help but smile at this, but then I realise that we need a serious chat about last night, and let out a loud sigh.

"What's up, gorgeous?" James asks as he gently nuzzles my neck.

"You're a dick." I bluntly reply, making him laugh. Damn, how do you get through to this man? I just called him a dick and all he does is laugh!

"Love you too gorgeous." He chuckles, and plants kisses on my neck. If he think I'm going to forgive him for just a few kisses on my neck, he can think again!

"You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't have acted the way you did last night. What a fat load of good love does, seeing as I l-" I begin, and instantly stop myself. I'm not admitting to James that I love him after the way he behaved last night, it's like I'm condoning his behaviour or that I have a massive sign about my head saying 'MUG'. "You really hurt me, James." I tell him, and await his response.

It takes him a minute or so, but eventually, he lets out an exasperated sigh. "I know, I can't even justify my actions. I know I'm a dick, and I probably always will be."

Upon hearing this, I sit up in the bed and look down at him. I can see disappointment in himself etched across his entire face. Those beautiful, fun-filled eyes that I fell in love with are now full of sorrow. I'm having a huge internal debate of whether to forgive him and move on, or whether he'll do it again. I responded really immaturely last night, so it's not like I can really back myself up and act like I took the high road, because I definitely didn't! "I'm a dick too." I eventually respond, making him look up at me, confused.

"You did nothing wrong, Holly. I was the one necking on with another girl first - I drove you to even go near that guy, who was an absolute creep by the way!" He say, making me laugh.

"Tell me about it!" I joke back, rolling my eyes. That's the last time I let Sophie and George set me up!

"How about we just tell each other how we feel from now on?" James suggests, and I look at him to try and gage his expression before I open my mouth. I'm about to say something risky, but he's the one that suggested honesty!

"Okay....if I'm honest, I don't know if you'll be able to stay committed to just me, so I'm scared of letting you in even more. I could be opening myself up purely to get hurt, and the thought of that terrifies me." I tell him honestly, and avoid looking into his eyes. I can feel tears starting to form, but I continue looking straight down at the mattress, unable to bring myself to look at James in case I burst into tears.

After a minute or so of painstaking silence, I feel James slowly cup my face with his hands, and he begins to turn my head towards him, forcing me to lock eye contact.

"Holly, babe, I don't know what I can say or do to prove this to you, but please. I really do believe that I love you, and I know I don't always show it...and my past follows me wherever I go, but I've never felt an emotional connection with a girl like this. We've not even had sex Hol, and that's such a big thing for me." He says, and for a moment I'm speechless. I don't know how to react - James just said he loves me? I decide to react in the only way I know how, my defence mechanism - humour.

"Yeah that's true, you could be shit in bed for all I know" I smirk, and a huge smile fills James' face. Within a moment, he's on top of me and licking his lips hungrily.

"I think we both know that's not going to be true..." he whispers in my ear, and slowly begins planting kisses down my neck.

"James..." I begin, but get distracted by his kisses. "I-" I begin, but his lips softly touch mine, and suddenly I'm stopped by the familiar feel of James Arthur's beautifully perfect lips against mine. Screw it, I'll tell him I love him some other time - this has been a long time coming!!

A/N - soooo I know it's been a number of years since I last posted, but I saw that this chapter was half finished and thought I'd see if anyone is still interested in this. Probs not, but thought I'd post this so at least I don't have a half finished chapter lying around :) thank you for reading! x