The Prince and the Bookworm

Chapter 32

"Prison?" Dallas repeated, his voice ringing with an air of what seemed like disbelief. If it wasn't that, it was definitely surprise. And I couldn't exactly blame him. He probably thought my dad had left us, or had died or something. 

"Yeah, that's what I said." I mumbled, slowly removing my hand from his and wrapping my arms around myself. I always did that when I felt vulnerable, and I hadn't felt this vulnerable in awhile. He seemed a little bit shocked or offended that I pulled away, but he recovered quickly, giving me a pitiful stare. 

"Sadie, I'm so-" 

"Don't." I cut him off firmly, holding a hand in the air. "I don't want sympathy. I don't need it, I'm already past that." I paused to check my thoughts. If I didn't want sympathy then why did I tell him? There was a silence as I searched my mind for a little before I finally found my answer. "I told you because for almost my whole life I've been an angry wreck. Anytime someone even said the word dad, I would explode on them. And I don't-" I took a shaky breath. "I don't want to do that anymore. I want to completely move on from him. And maybe talking about what happened with him out loud will finally help me do that." As the truth came out of my mouth, I half expected a weight to be lifted off my shoulders. 

But it didn't. 

I still felt the way I did 5 minutes ago. And even though it was a bit discouraging, I tried to tell myself that getting rid of all the baggage my dad gave me over the years would take more than just a snap of the fingers. I needed time to get through it. And thankfully, Dallas had made it clear he had the time to help me. 

"Alright then." He said, the tone of his voice now sounding somewhat determined. "No pity. So let's just talk about it. How long is his sentence?" 

"It's a life sentence." I whispered, as soon as I spoke I realized how depressed how sounded. I couldn't do that to myself again. Talking about my dad was supposed to be a good thing for me. I wasn't going to let it drag me down like it had in the past. "My mom told we a little while ago that they divorced, which I didn't know. I'm glad they did it though. My mom probably wouldn't be with Mark today if they didn't." The thought of Mark almost brought a smile to my face. There was no way on earth he could ever replace my father, but he did make my mom happy. 

And that made me happy too. 

"What did he do?" Dallas asked the obvious question, and all I could do was shrug. 

"I don't know." It sounded stupid. My own father was in prison for a life sentence and I had no idea why. But I honestly liked it that way. When he first went to prison, I was a little girl. There was no way my mom was going to tell me the real reason my dad was taken away forever. And when I got old and mature enough for her to tell me, I practically begged her not to. I didn't want the memory of my dad more tarnished than it already was. 

So she agreed. To this day, I had never worked up the courage to ask her to tell me. 

"You don't know?" Dallas asked with a puzzled expression. "Your mom never told you?" 

"No." I answered numbly, shaking my head. "I was really young when he left and I've been too afraid to ask her since." 

"That's understandable." Dallas agreed after a lengthy silence. I knew by his pause after he spoke and the thoughtful look in his eye that he was going to say something else. "But are you sure you don't want to know now that you've grown up?" 

For some reason, a mixture of annoyance and anger flared in me as Dallas questioned my decision, but I kept it in check. He was only trying to get me to talk and help me get past this. 

"No, I'm not sure. But I just can't bring myself to ask my mom. I think it's a lot harder for her to talk about then she lets on. I mean come on, he was her husband. She was still in love with him when he got locked up. It wasn't easy for her to move on."