Silver or Black [Undertaker x Reader (ft. Sebastian)]

XI.: Coming clear

Your POV

     You slammed the door behind you and sat on the ground right next to them. You were mad. And disappointed, maybe sad even, but most of all you were confused. Was that red haired woman saying the truth? You'd doubt it but Undertaker's reaction made that option impossible. No, he indeed was a Shinigami. And you were okay with that. Geez, you were a doctor – almost – and understood the importance of death. If something, you were glad to know that no one is truly alone while dying. But what made you feel that mess of emotions was the fact Undertaker was hiding this from you the whole time. Of course, you understood his reasons but at the same time you were mad because did he really thought you'd react badly? Sure, you were overreacting right now, but that's all his fault. He could run after you and explain himself but didn't. Reasons behind this worried you but you were still really mad and not thinking straight so you stayed seated with your back against the door. What else he didn't tell you? His name, of course, but you kinda got used to calling him Undertaker, Unnie and so on so that was alright even if you were still curious about his real name. Was there anything else? You wondered but couldn't think of anything, maybe there was more of non-human creatures out there but that you supposed wasn't anything you should know. You sighed and felt the anger slowly fading. Nothing happened after all, it just caught you unprepared so it was only natural for you to overreact, right? You just told him to be honest with you this morning and suddenly you came to know he was still hiding things from you! Unbelievable! You laughed, it's not like you didn't understand. And you just couldn't be mad at Undertaker. He was such a sweet and caring person, he was probably just afraid that you'd leave. Which you did... The realization hit you hard and your body filled with regret. You stood up and brushed the dust off your pants with a sigh. You should better go back in before things could get bad. You knocked softly on the door before stepping into the main room but the tall silver haired man was nowhere to be seen. "Undertaker?" You called softly, scanning the dark room with your [e/c] eyes.

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Undertaker's POV

     The loud slam of the front door resonated through the room as well as his heart. She's gone. He thought and felt his heart break – no, shatter. His knees gave up, sending him kneeling to the ground. He watched the door like he was waiting for you to come back even though he knew he'd never see you again. His eyes started to water. He couldn't blame you though. He was a monster, freak, everyone was right. Tears streamed down his cheek and a soft sob escaped his lips. How could he fuck up so bad? He crawled under his table and leaned his back against its front. With his knees pulled to his chest and forehead resting on them he cried. He cried like a baby, completely heartbroken. He should have killed Grell when he saw her. God knows she deserved it anyway. And he should tell her first too, so he would be prepared to lose you. He sobbed into his coat which turned even darker with the wetness of his tears. He was stupid to fell in love but still, even now, he couldn't regret it. You made him so happy like no one did before and was as passionate about humans as he was. Your smile made his heart beat so fast, your touches healed his broken soul and now it was all gone. He'd never hug you or make you blush again. Maybe if you knew how he felt you wouldn't leave? No, what was he thinking. You'd leave that much faster because you deserved a normal life without others staring at you and whispered behind your back. He could hear those people: "Look at her! She's dating that weirdo!", "What's wrong with her, is she crazy?" and "She's fucking disgusting. They both are." It made him cry and sob harder. You deserved better. If you dated literally anyone else, you'd have normal life. You'd have children and a nice home full of light and without dust and organs in jars with formalin. He smiled a bit at the thought. You'd be so happy. For a while he just imagined you dancing in the kitchen, cooking dinner, smile on your face. But his heart hurt too, because that wasn't a future he could grant you. He would for sure be happy with you anywhere but you wouldn't. It would be selfish for him to trap you here. It would be for the best if he just forgot about you but he couldn't. He sobbed loudly but then got quiet immediately when he heard the doors opening. He was sure that the sign was turned to Closed but some people never listen. For a moment he got angry, it was easier than being sad. Then he heard your voice and had to bite down on his coat not to sob again. What were you doing here?! And why was your voice so soft? Didn't you hate him? You run away why come back? Oh. You came for your things of course, it's just that. He tried to not give himself a fake hope. He will just wait for a while to compose himself and then will come out from hiding to help you pack your stuff. "Undertaker?" Your voice came again, worried this time and he didn't manage to stop himself from started crying hard all over again. Shit. "Unnie!" He heard you scream before your steps got closer and closer and before he could stop you, you found him.

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Your POV

     You thought that Undertaker was hiding in some coffin again but weren't exactly in the mood for looking for him so you called his name. Nothing. You got worried that something might have happened to him so you repeated his name again. That's when the sobbing came and your heart dropped to the floor, broken. Was this your fault? Probably. But why? Why was he so sad over you going out for a while? You really wanted to think about there for a while but the hopeless broken sounds Undertaker was making were driving you insane. You followed you hearing and found him under the table. And the sight in front of you was enough to make tears stream down your face too. He sat there curled against the front of the table, long silver hair flowing around him like the tears he was shedding. He shook so much from trying to make himself quiet. "Unnie..." you whispered and sniffed before launching forward to hug him. "I'm so sorry, so sorry," you cried with face buried in the crook of his neck. "I-I'm here now, sorry," you apologized again and let your fingers run through his hair. "I-I-I-I'm s-s-ssorry t-too," he managed to say before broking into violent sobs again. He moved so that he could pull you into a tight hug.

     And time flew by past you two. You stayed there, sitting and holding each other for minutes... or hours? None of you knew, neither did you care. You just needed the comfort of the other in your arms. And eventually, the room got quiet. But you stayed curled up under the table and held each other, Undertaker gently caressing your back and you his sides and chest. You were enveloped by comfortable silence but it had to be broken once and you were the one who did it. "I didn't want to make you so sad, I'm sorry," you murmured. "It wasn't your fault, I should have told you the truth long ago," he whispered and his hug tightened. "I guess I was just afraid that this would happen." He sighed and chuckled sadly. "I thought you'd hate you," his voice was weak and you could hear the fear in it. "I don't," you assured him, "I was just mad you didn't tell me when I specifically told you to be honest with me just this morning." Both of you laughed shortly. "Hint taken, no more secrets on both sides?" He asked and you nodded. Happy smile bloomed on your face. Now this was settled you could relax and enjoy his warm chest under you. You felt his muscles under your hands and whaaat he had abs??? Like... you'd never guess that. It turned your face red now that it finally hit you how close you were to each other. And it felt so natural and nice too. You could get used to being so close to him all the time. It made your heart beat rapidly to imagine cuddling on the bed, holding hands with him and waking up/falling asleep in his arms. Lost in your dreams you cuddled closer to him but realized what you did when his body tensed. "U-uh, sorry," you murmured and pulled away – or wanted to but he didn't let you. "Is something wrong?" You asked worriedly. You heard him take a long breath. "I have to tell you something," he said before pulling you impossibly closed and leaning down to whisper in your ear. "I love you."

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