To Know You [Yuri Plisetsky x Reader]

10 (TW: Su1c!de)

"Y/n... You can't tell anyone, please..." My mother's voice was distorted with tears and jagged breathing. We stood out by the cliff near my old house, the cliff that dropped down over a hundred feet. 

"You can't expect me to just keep quiet like this!" I cried out to her, tears blurring my own vision. "This isn't fair! I don't understand why you're doing this!"

"You're right, this isn't fair. But I can't go on like this. I can't be this ice skating icon and also be your mother! It's too much pressure on me and it's not fair to you! I want you to have a normal life, Y/n. You can't tell anyone. Not your father, not your friends, no one. And you already know. I don't want you ice skating. Please." She stood at the edge of the cliff, her heels hanging off just barely. I continued taking steps forward, reaching out to her while trying to remain at a safe distance from the edge. "Promise me you won't tell anyone!"

"Why don't you just quit skating?!" All the pain I was feeling inside would come out as anger, and I couldn't help but scream at her for trying to leave me.

"I can't do that! It'll bring shame to our whole family." 

"No, it won't! You can't be shamed by someone if you don't care what they think!" The pain in my throat grew because of how much and how loud I was yelling, but I didn't care. I would scream until she is back in the house, back in bed, safe and sound. My mother took a step forward and hugged me tight, then proceeded to sing a song quietly into my ear.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." No. Not this song. She used to sing this song to me when I wouldn't go to sleep at night, or when it was time to say goodbye when I had to go home and she had to stay elsewhere. "You make me happy when skies are grey."

"Mum-"

"You'll never know dear..."

"Mum, stop it!"

"How much I love you. Please don't take..." She released the hug and wiped my tears with her thumbs, holding my face in her hands and trying to blink away her own tears.

"My sunshine..." She bent her head down just a bit and softly planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Away." She jumped backward and pushed me forward to where I fell to the ground, so I wouldn't be able to stop her.

*****

I jolted upwards into a sitting position, waking up in a cold sweat. My breathing was pressured, as if I had a cinder block laying on my chest. I woke up, I thought to myself, going as far as to mouth the words. I woke up... right before she disappeared. Taking a deep breath, I swung my legs to the side of my bed and rubbed my eyes. It still seemed dark out, but I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon. 

After my mother died, my dad and I would just tell everyone that she was killed by a drunk driver. My dad believes it to this day. I told everyone that she went out that night for a soothing walk because she was feeling stressed. I said I woke up after she walked out the door, then followed her to see what was going on. I said that she was knocked off the cliff by a drunk driver who swerved onto the side of the road, and I said the driver died, too. 

But there was no drunk driver. There was just me and my mother, and my mother's thoughts haunting her. Still, I haven't told anyone the truth about her suicide. No one would understand. I still don't understand, but at the same time I did. She felt pressured, trapped. Torn between the two worlds of family and fame. She couldn't leave one without hurting the other. She couldn't stay in one without depriving the other.

There was a knock at my door to pull me out of my reminiscence. I looked at the door, still panting somewhat. "Yeah, come in." To my surprise, Uncle Yuuri opened the door and stepped in.

"Hey, Y/n," he smiled. "Um, there's breakfast out here for you. That is, if you're hungry. Viktor- er, your uncle, he, he managed to bring most of your things from your dad's house here. He was waiting for you to wake up before bringing it all in." 

I did my best to smile back at him, then I stood up. "Thanks, Uncle Yuuri. I'll be out in a second. Tell Uncle Viktor I said thanks, too." He nodded at me, pulling off his glasses to clean them off a bit, and walked out. After hearing the door close I went to my closet, only to see it empty for the most part. I forgot Uncle Viktor still hadn't grabbed my clothes. "I guess I'm wearing this again," I sighed and pursed my lips. Luckily, I had a hairtie around my wrist. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun so it would at least look like I purposefully had it so disheveled. A strand of h/c hair fell over my right eye, but I couldn't be bothered to move it.

I walked out of my room, looking around, then walking to a room with a fairly large table and what looked like sashimi set out on it. My two uncles, Yuri, and a brunette with her hair bleached at the ends, held up with a purple headband, sat at the table. I coughed a bit, waving my hand in front of me, because of the smoke in the room. My face twisted at the girl with the purple headband facing away from me, as it seemed the smoke was emanating from her. My blood uncle grinned at me upon my entrance, waving with a piece of raw fish in his mouth. I smiled slightly, as just seeing his goofy grin made me feel a little better. 

The other three people turned around to see what Uncle Viktor was waving at, and Yuuri smiled, while Yuri just raised his eyebrows. The smoking brunette just blinked at me. "Is this the girl you were talking about, Yuuri?" She asked. He nodded, pushing his glasses up. "Well. Welcome to Yu-topia Katsuki. I'm Mari. Yuuri's sister."

"Hi, Mari," I waved hesitantly. "Um, I'm Y/n. Yu-Yuuri's niece." My eyes fell on Yuri, who was still just looking at me. "Y-Yuri, when did you want to go out?"

"When you dress like a non-homeless person."

"Yurio!" Uncle Viktor scolded. 

"What? She's not homeless, she lives here."

"She ran away just last night, lost her father and her home that she's known the longest." Yuuri tilted his head disapprovingly.

"It's not like she cares. From what she told me last night I doubt she ever wants to see her dad again."

"You guys talked last night?" This caught both uncles' attention.

"It was nothing. Just a little talk," I waved nervously.

"You didn't hear?" Yuri furrowed his brow. "She was yelling like I was across the world from her."

"You were yelling too!"

"Well look who's yelling now."

"......" I frowned at him, receiving mixed signals. "Um.. never mind. Uncle Viktor, I need clothes for today."

"Where are you going?"

"Out," Yuri answered for me.

"Er, yeah, out."

"Alright. They're just in my room. Go ahead and grab them." Uncle Viktor ate a bit more of the  sashimi before waving me away.

I nodded and turned around despite not eating anything (not that I could've. Mari's smoke ruined my appetite), and walked off to my uncle's room to get ready for the day ahead of me.

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*Cough* Ummm.. I feel like this chapter was pretty good at the beginning, then just went downhill until it was actual garbage. Sorry for that. I'm not gonna lie, I was distracted by watching Teen Titans (Not Teen Titans Go -3- )

So, for this chapter's shoutout, I'd like to give it to slaine2002! Once again, this person caught my eye back on imaflowerchild's profile. While there were maannnyyy people who are amazingly supportive of this story, I can only do one shoutout per chapter, so don't worry! I actually have a list ::3

Feedback and suggestions always appreciated!

Love ya kiwis! <3

~Hedgehog-chan