Sick Little Games [Jack Barakat]

It's Chris

"Maddy, wake the fuck up." I was awaken by the familar voice of Jack Barakat.

"Whaattt." I groaned, shielding my eyes from the burning light.

"WAKE UP."

"WHAT." I shouted back, sitting up. This better be important. I glanced at the clock on the desk next to me, it was 7:04 am. "Jack, it's only-"

I looked at Jack who was on his knees, his phone on the ground next to him, staring up at me. His eyes were red and puffy.. He was crying? 

"Jack, what's wrong?" 

"It's Chris," He looked at me.

"What about Chris?" I asked, extending my arm out and wiping a tear from his face.

"He's fucking dead, Maddy! That's what!" He shouted, backing away from me and standing up.

"He's what?" My voice was soft. But how?

"You heard me!" He threw his hands up. "He killed himself last night!"

I was speechless, "Why?"

Chris? Dead? Killed himself? Why? Not because of what I said to him, right? It wasn't even mean! All I did was stick up for myself.. 

"You really think I fucking know?!" He shouted, pacing back and fourth.

"Jack. Calm down." I tried.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN, MADISON." He stopped in his tracks, then started pacing again. I've never seen him like this before.

"Jack, how do you know he's dead?"

"Because I got the fucking call from the hospital. THAT'S USUALLY HOW PEOPLE FIND OUT."

"Jack, stop yelling at me." I said calmly, standing up. I set my hand on his arm, causing him to stop pacing, "It's going to be okay, you hear me?"

He starred down at me, another tear rolling down his cheek. I reached up and wiped it away before whispering, "Come here."

I pulled him onto the bed with me. "Jack look, I'm sorry that happened to him, okay? And I'm sorry I can't be affected by this on a personal level like you. I didn't know him like that. But it's going to be okay, I'm here for you.." 

With that, he started crying again. I've only seen Jack cry one other time in my life. And I hated it. I pulled him into me and let him cry his little eyes out. I can't believe this. It's really not my fault. Right? Right?

~

"You'll never be forgotten, buddy. I love you." Chris' older brother finished his speech, wiping a tear away from his face. I wiped a tear from mine as well. I never liked Chris, but this was still a tragedy. And there's still that little part of me that thinks this is my fault. Chris' sister told me that he's had a couple attempts before, so that helped me feel a bit better.. NOT FEEL BETTER THAT HE TRIED BEFORE, but that he was upset with himself before I said anything to him.. WHICH STILL IS TERRIBLE BUT LIKE THAT HE DIDN'T DO IT BECAUSE OF ME.. You get what I'm trying to say.. But there was still that possibility. 

I looked up at Jack who was standing next to me. He starred straight, his eyes and cheeks damp. I slowly moved my hand over and held his hand. He looked down at me, then back to whatever he was starring at. I looked away too. I never told Jack -or anyone- about Chris and I's fight. It's not time to. 

~

1 MONTH LATER 

"You're so cute." I smiled at him. "BUT. You would be cuter if you would just shove these damn marshmellows in your mouth!" 

"Maddy, I'm not doing it!" He laughed.

"Why." I whined, pushing the bag of marshmellows towards him.

"As much as I like white stuff in my mouth," Jack smiled, pushing them back at me. "No."

"You suck." I frowned, crossing my arms.

"I do." He winked.

"Jack." I laughed.

"Had to make you smile, sorry." He poked my nose. I leaned across the table and pecked his lips. "Jack, there's been something I needed to get off my chest. And I think nows the time."

"What is it?" He asked.

"Um, well." I looked down at my hands. I played with the little promise ring wrapped around my finger. "Remember your birthday party?"

"Yeah.." He was touchy about that night, it was the last night he saw his good friend.

"Well.."

"Tell me, Mad."

I looked up at him, then back down at my fingers. "Well, Chris tried to get me to sleep with him again. And I know you always say he's just joking, but I know he's not Jack. Anyways, I yelled at him for it. He looked pretty hurt and that was the last I saw him. So I don't know if I influenced his.. You know.. Or not. But I don't know, it's just been driving me crazy."

When Jack didn't respond, I looked up at him. He was staring at me with a look on his face. A look I really didn't recognize. And I started to feel super nervous.

"Jack.."

He shook his head and stood up from the table, walking out the back door. I was silent as I watched him walk down towards the big retention pond in our backyard. A tear rolled down my cheek as I watched him sit down and burry his head in his hands.

It wasn't my fault.

Right?

AN: hey guys, i just wanted to apologize for taking so long to update. this story will be coming to an end very shortly and i just want the ending to be amazing. so im sorry again for the wait.

hope youre enjoying though and sorry for the somewhat depressing chapter.