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Chapter Twelve
I can't say it was unexpected. There were all these signs pointing to a dead end in our relationship. I was just in denial
Like how when we were on good terms sitting on the couch watching some tv. There was no communication.
Or when I'd walk through the door you stopped jumping on me to kiss my face. You stopped making dinner we would rather get takeout or I'd have to make those frozen dinners.
When I would be in the mood and try to seduce you, you'd roll on your side and say you had a headache.
You started working late hours at your job or when I'd come home late you'd be taking up the entire bed that I'd have to take the couch.
You wouldn't let me hold you any more or touch you. I suspected to were cheating on me. When I brought it up you slapped me upside the head. What'd you expect me to think?
I didn't want to believe we had fallen out of love. I didn't want to believe the girl I devoted nearly my entire young age to have stopped loving me.
I never would have thought you'd be the one to leave me. I always wanted to leave first it was my plan for a while.
I love you Grace and I don't think I'll ever stop. A few days after you left I waltz into a party.
I saw you, you were in a red silky dress. You wore that once when I took you out to a fancy dinner.
I didn't say anything but I did say something to another girl. By the time I could comprehend what was going on she was blowing me.
When I rolled the condom on and traced her entrance with my dick she gripped my arm. "Is it going to hurt?" She asked and I swear I saw your face flash before my eyes.
I couldn't bring myself to do that. I couldn't fuck another inexperienced girl. I didn't want to destroy someone's innocence like the way I did to you.
So I slid on my jeans sat on the bed to tie my shoes and threw on my shirt. I didn't even worry about the stupid condom still on my dick.
I was just worried about getting the hell out of there. She called my name and I looked at her "you need to give it to someone who deserves it" I tell her and she starts crying.
I felt horrible- I know what your thinking, Ashton feels bad? Of course, I fucking did.- I felt embarrassed for the girl.
I just left her and wouldn't take her virginity. She's nearly thirty for crying out loud. So no Grace Goldstein I didn't have sex with a woman that night.
But I did become the man you always wanted me to be.
