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Chapter Forteen
I stopped saying I love you to my mum when I first turned eighteen. I was in a rough place. Remember the weed and drinking? That I now currently went back to.
When we would visit my mother for holidays and you'd thank her for the so-called "amazing dinner" I'd already be sitting in the car warming it up.
Today is Mother's Day, but last week I had found out she had died. I didn't want to bother you with the news. You were planning your wedding I supposed.
In fact, I haven't even been able to plan a funeral. My head has been so messed up at the moment.
Lauren comes to visit me she's so grown up, around 20 I believe. She told me she could do it but I wanted to do something for my mother.
I was always so busy smoking weed and starting arguments. Hanging out with the wrong group of people because I thought it made me cool.
You always saw right through me though. The moment you became my partner for global studies I knew, you knew.
I was a jerk, admit it. You would never admit it to me though. You said that day we became partners was the day your life started. You started to get noticed.
That was until I put you in your place and told everyone you were a lesbian that even your mom thought it.
Then the next year you put me in my place wearing clothes that actually fit your body working out to get in shape for modeling.
That was honestly a smack in the face on the first day of school during chemistry. I deeply wish and to this day that Michael didn't sit next to me so that you'd have to place yourself next to me.
Though maybe friends were all we'd ever be or maybe you would have just hated me the entire time and made me do all the work. I mean I did all the work while mike was my partner.
That day when I spilled my experiment over the teacher and got screamed at because your laugh screwed me up.
Brought us together, don't you think? If Luke hadn't elbow you in the nose if you hadn't tried to help me.
We would of possibly never went out. I didn't know it then I mean I felt it. That connection feeling when I'd look at you, that electric shock when our hands accidentally touched.
I was in love and till this day I'm still in love.
-
Lauren called you, I only found out because I heard her talking to someone so I decided to snoop.
It was you, her contact name was "ash girlfriend" I changed it to ex. Right after that, you texted her.
"Hey again I'm sorry for your loss, is it okay if I'm there for both the days 2-4 and 7-9? Also, should I bring Luke? Or is it too soon?"
"Too soon. Too fucking soon" I almost sent but Lauren stepped in the room. "Ashton gives me my phone," she says snatching it from my hands.
"Why can't you text her on your own phone, loser" she snorts and I roll my eyes as she stomps up the stairs.
Maybe I should text her on my phone. I mean it couldn't hurt, right? Yes, yes it could. As I'm about to press the call button I see her name flash up on my screen.
"Gracey💞"
I pick it up. "Ashton?" I hear you question sounded almost like a whimper. "Grace, are you crying?" I ask my voice horsily it feels as if I hadn't talked in ages.
"Yeah, maybe. I'm so sorry about Annie Marie" you cry and I bite my lip.
"It's okay, thank you," I tell you and I cough.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Lauren said you weren't going to tell me at all. Is that true?"
"Well yes, we broke up Grace. It's weird." I told you honestly.
"We dated for seven years, Ashton. I would have liked to be invited. Is it okay that I'm going?" You ask.
"With Luke?" I question you and by that sigh, I knew you were annoyed.
"If it's going to bother you, no. I just want to be there for you. You were there for me with my grandma. " you state.
"It doesn't bother me that he's going. If you want him there that's fine. He's apart of your life now. Is Jay going?" I lie but you bought it.
"Yes, jay is going. Thank you for being so cool with this. I love you ash, you know that right?" You ask.
I bite my lip trying to hold on my tears "uh Grace I need to go. I lov- I mean goodbye." I stutter and hang up.
