Now you notice me?

Chapter 9

Peeling myself off the floor I look around. The hallway was empty and I felt cold inside.

Each time I try to forget the past it comes back to hit me. The pain in my chest was over whelming. Fighting the tears in my eyes I slowly walk over to the dressing room locking it behind me.

I practically lunge at my bag digging for my blade. My fingers wrap around it's case and I pull it out. "Nice to see you old friend." I mumble

Letting my mind take over I bring the blade down multiple times.

At first my body flinches from the pain but then a numbing sensation spreads relaxing me.

Putting the blade back my mind begins to become foggy. Looking down at my arm I see that blood was beginning to drip down.

Running to the bathroom I wash off the blood and clean out my wounds.

Wrapping bandages around my arm I notice that I had gone over board. 20 or more slashes were spread out across my arm.

A wave a sadness hit me. My brain notifying me that I'm sinking into depression once again.

Sighing I put on my jacket making sure the bandages were covered and grabbing my bag leaving the room.

I hailed a taxi, telling him the hotel address he dropped me off. Throwing him the money and leaving a generous tip I make my way into the hotel.

"Your fat, ugly, unwanted that's why your dad killed himself he didn't want to live another day with you." Were the things being shouted in my head.

I cried like I never had before. I couldn't breathe and my vision was blurry. Opening the hotel room I stumble in.

"Logan?" I hear Marcel's deep voice call out.

I was not in the mood, dragging my feet toward my room I slam the door shut locking it. Sobs escaped my mouth. My legs giving out and I slide down to the ground.

My cries turned into screams as the images flashed in my head.

"Stop!! Go away!" I shouted pulling my hair begging for the imagines to go away.

"Logan?! Are you okay?" Marcel shouts threw the door.

I shut him out. Just like I did to everybody when my dad died.

All I could hear was his faint shouts and the door shaking behind me.

After 30 minuets of trying to get in he gave up. Just like my mother did.

My tears ran dry and I was no longer crying a river. All you could hear from me was my tearless sobs.

Finally after hours of fighting it I fell asleep numbing the pain for a little while.

*early the next day about 3 in the afternoon..*

Groaning I sit up in bed. My body feeling hot and sticky.

I sigh standing up and walking over to the bathroom. Turing on the hot shower I peel off my clothes including my bandages seeing that the blood has dried and hopped in.

Letting my body soak I wash my hair in shampoo and conditioner getting rid of the sweat and smell. Washing my body and cuts I turn off the water, wrap myself in a towel and headed out to my room to find something to wear.

I honesty didn't care anymore.

Slipping on a pair of boy shorts under wear and a sports bra I also put on a black tank top.

Brushing my hair out I French braid it to the side and leave my room in search of food.

Going to the kitchen I grab a bowl from the cabinet and a box of cereal. Pouring myself I grab the milk from the fridge and drench my cereal.

Taking small bites I chew finishing my cereal rather quickly.

Washing my plate I dry my hands and head over to the living room.

Half way there Marcel's voice stops me.

"Logan? A-are you okay?" He asked me standing at his door way.

My face showed no emotion.

He walks across the room getting closer to me.

Stoping in his tracks his cheeks turn read. His eyes scan my body looking me up and down.

A tent forming in his sweats.

Not even that phased me. Sighing again I slug past him.

He grabs my arm pulling me back.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"It's not like you care." I snap pulling free from his grip

"But that's were your wrong. Logan... I do care." I hear him mumble before I slam my door.

I sit near my window staring out letting my thoughts suffocate me.

___________________________

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Stay with me cause I'm quite quick and 5 6 7 8 :D -Kate