Lost

Chapter 2

Mikey was barely aware of Ray tucking him into bed. If he'd been in his right mind, he'd have been humiliated and quite possibly weirded out.

But he wasn't; not at all.

Ray sat by him for a while, making sure he would be alright, and then stood up to go.

Mikey made a small noise of protest and clung onto him, eyes wide. Ray blinked.

"Mikey..."

"D-don't leave, Gee," Mikey begged, disoriented and confused. Ray seemed to soften a little as he sat back down.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mikey," he promised. "Just go to sleep."

Mikey nodded slowly and closed his eyes, his head moving into Ray's lap. He yawned and smiled, slowly drifting off.

He woke up alone and at first was a little confused when he saw Ray asleep on the bed beside him.

Then he remembered everything. He curled up in his small ball again and whimpered. He hated all this pain, and stress and worry. Why would Gerard just leave without telling anybody?

Without telling Mikey?

He felt Ray's arms wrap around him.

"Mikey?" The older male sounded worried.

"I want Gee," Mikey whispered.

"I know, I know," Ray sighed. "He made a bigger impact on us than we first thought, I guess."

"What if he's dead, Ray? What if he killed himself?" Mikey looked up at him, terrified. But Ray shook his head.

"Mikes, you're jumping to conclusions again. If Gerard was committing suicide, he wouldn't have taken provisions." He stroked Mikey's hair, which quite obviously needed a shower by now. "Now, you need some coffee. You like coffee, remember?"

Mikey slowly nodded and watched Ray stand up. Ray offered him his hand and Mikey took it, wobbling a little as Ray pulled him to his feet.

He let the older male lead him out of his room, trying to ignore the pull that Gerard's empty bedroom had on his exhausted eyes.

Ray pulled him into the kitchen and Mikey sat down in the corner, curling into himself. He watched the blurry outline of Ray making some coffee and breakfast, shivering in the cold air.

The doorbell rang, and Mikey jumped badly. Ray finished making coffee and passed Mikey his favorite mug.

"I'll get it," he smiled. There was something cracked and chipped behind the smile. Mikey felt shame swipe through him as he realized he was nothing but a burden on Ray and Frank at the moment. He sat in his corner, occasionally sipping his coffee and listening to Ray open the door. He didn't bother looking; he wouldn't be able to see without his glasses on.

He heard his parents' voices and curled further into himself, narrowly avoiding spilling his drink. What if they blamed him for Gerard's disappearance? What if they thought he was pathetic?

What if they rejected him?

Mikey felt a few more tears trace down his cheeks. He didn't want to lose his parents too.

Ray walked back in and quickly saw his upset state. He crouched down.

"Mikey, it's just your parents. They want to see how you're doing."

Mikey hesitantly peeked into the front room, where his mother and father were sitting. They both looked bereft.

Mikey shrank back.