Lost

Chapter 13

"Mikey, move your arm, you're throttling me!"

Frank's complaining voice rang through the room. Mikey didn't want to move anything; he was so comfortable in this bed.

"Mikey!"

"Fine," he muttered, rolling over, away from Frank.

"I didn't say go away." Frank just sounded sulky now. "Come back, Mikes."

"No." Mikey smiled a sleepy smile and settled back down, hoping for more sleep.

"Screw you!" Frank climbed on top of him and fell into Mikey's sprawled out arms, curling up like a kitten. Mikey sighed softly and opened his eyes. Man, Frank even looked sulky.

"Frankie," he muttered, "I want to sleep."

"Try calling me Frankie when-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence. I don't like where it's going."

"Oh, come on!" Frank rolled his eyes and sat up. "Well, it's seven a.m. Time for some food!"

Mikey groaned again and stuffed his face in the pillow, not wanting to move. Frank paused only to pull the pillow away from his mouth and nose before running downstairs. Man, Mikey wished he had that sort of energy today.

The dark ball that was Gerard's loss tightened for a second, and Mikey let out a small whimper.

No. He would not whimper over that dickhead.

Actually, yes, he would. He would cry and scream and sob over his amazing brother. It wasn't fair.

He sighed and shifted a little, hearing Frank come back upstairs.

"Mikey," he said softly. "Pills."

Mikey groaned and rolled back onto his side, facing away from Frank.

"Mikes. Come on. You gotta take three today."

"Three?"

"Yeah. I guess you wouldn't really remember," Frank sighed. "You have to take this third one once a week. Since your head kept resetting, you wouldn't really know."

"Oh." Mikey blinked and grabbed the pill, blinking at it. It was half red and half green. He was sure he'd never seen one before. "So... I just take it?"

"Yes. That is what the hospital said." Frank rolled his eyes. "Just do it. It'll be over quickly."

"Okay..." Mikey sighed and put it in his mouth, taking the water that Frank was offering. He swallowed the pill and then took the other pills. Frank relaxed, and patted his head.

"Good little Mikey."

"I'm taller than you."

"Shut up. You're little now." Frank gave his nose an affectionate poke. Mikey sighed and hugged him.

"Thank you for looking after me," he mumbled, hiding his face in Frank's hair. Frank rolled his eyes.

"Mikey, I could hardly let you stay in the care of your parents. They'd fuss over you to no end and make you stay home all day like when we were kids."

"Yeah, but if someone attacks me now I..." Mikey frowned. "You're right, they would." Frank sighed and patted his head again.

"Plus, you can't really stay with Ray anymore."

"Yeah."

"Were you... were you ever romantically involved with him?" Frank had an odd look in his eyes. It was anything but nonchalant.

"Uh, not to my knowledge, no."

Frank smiled brightly. "Okay!"

Mikey frowned. "You had a weird look. Just now. Weird look."

"What?" Frank gave him an innocent expression. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"I dated Ray for six months."

Frank turned sharply to him, that look crossing his face again, but this time it was thunderous.

"I'm kidding," Mikey said, exasperated. "Me and Ray were only friends."

Frank relaxed. "Oh, okay." He patted Mikey's head a third time and got back up, humming. Mikey shook his head in disbelief and got out of bed, yawning. He was tired. Frank stretched and walked out of the bedroom, leaving Mikey to follow. And follow him, Mikey did.

They walked into the kitchen, where Frank began to make some of Mikey's morning coffee. Mmm. Coffee. Mikey loved the beverage. He couldn't stress that enough sometimes.

Frank looked up at him, noticing that his eyes seemed glued to the coffee machine.

"So, Mikey," he grinned. "How was sleeping next to me last night?"

"I started throttling you," Mikey mumbled, embarrassed.

"Other than that, how was it?"

"Warm. You're warm."

"Aww."

"Shut up," Mikey begged. "Don't be mean to me."

"But you're so cute!" Frank grinned and hugged him tightly. "How can I not 'aww' you?"

"By shutting your mouth?" Mikey rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Frank's shoulders.

"Don't be mean," Frank whined. "If you're mean I'll tell your parents you're bullying me."

"No," Mikey said, aghast. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, really?" Frank grinned evilly.

"We're adults, why are we doing this?"

"No idea." Frank sighed and finished making Mikey's coffee. "There you go. Now, breakfast."

"Oh, yeah. That's a thing."

"Of course it's a thing." Frank turned and walked around, looking in the cupboards to find something for them to eat. He hummed as he did so. Mikey sipped his coffee and watched with intrigue. Frank scowled at him. "Are you actually going to help?"

"No," Mikey smiled. "Why would I?"

"I hate you," Frank muttered. He turned away and grabbed some bread and threw two slices into his toaster. Mikey smiled and stretched, yawning. Man, he was tired. Still, another day of doing... nothing. Jesus, what did they even do anymore? Mikey had no idea. They just lounged around and occasionally went to the park. Still, it was better than staying at home in that empty, empty apartment with no Gerard and only the memory of when Mikey had admitted his sexuality and crush. He still wasn't sure if Gee hated him. Maybe... maybe it was an overreaction?

And maybe he hates you, Mikey's mind argued. You know he likes Frank. He's always going to hate you for that. Mikey shuddered and looked over at Frank, who had finished toasting the bread and was now choosing things to put on it.

He sighed. Frank deserved better than him. Frank deserved Gerard: Gerard, with his perfect everything. Mikey was getting upset just thinking about it. Great, he was becoming even more of a sissy.

God, why couldn't he just get over himself? It wasn't fucking fair. He didn't want to be pathetic anymore. He sighed and tried to think to a time when he wasn't this mentally unstable.

It was when Gerard was around.

Gerard, as usual, was the key to everything.

Mikey turned and wandered out of the kitchen, towards the front door. He vaguely heard a question from Frank but it didn't register. He opened the door and walked outside, into the pounding rain and freezing cold. He heard Frank shout at him but again, it didn't register.

He kept walking, out into the cold. Only one thought was on his frozen mind:

Gerard... have to find... Gerard...