constellations ☆ colby brock

chapter twenty one: her story.

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TRIGGER WARNING- if you are affected by mentions of rape, please be careful as you carry on reading. this chapter is not graphic or descriptive of rape in any way- but it is mentioned, along with a small mention of blood. stay safe my loves, and if you ever need someone to talk to about anything at all, i welcome you with open arms.
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*colby's pov*

for the next few weeks, everything was perfect.
the days consisted of affection and optimism- i don't think we'd ever been happier.
until the attacks came back.
she managed without them for so long, but they reappeared like a rash, and this time, they were worse.
there was something triggering them; maybe a memory. that's when i realized something crucial to helping her get over them- she never told me why she had anxiety.
whether she was born with it or she developed it over time, i have no clue.
so i asked her.

•••

"hey steph?" i asked her as we sat on the couch. no one was home, so i figured being alone would be create the best atmosphere for what i was about to ask.

"yeah?" she replied, eyes not leaving the tv screen.

"if it's not too much to ask, i wanted to know why you have anxiety," i said. her head turned quickly towards me and she started to get a little nervous.

"um, why?"

"well, because if there was something that triggered your anxiety, maybe letting it out could be helpful to deafening it a bit. would you be willing to tell me?" i smiled kindly, trying to show her i wouldn't judge her.

"um, i...i've never told anyone before."

"not even devyn?" i cocked my head to the side.

"no." she looked down, nervous energy radiating from her body.

"do you trust me enough to tell me what happened?"

"i-yes, i trust you more than anyone i know-"

"well, than that's a good thing-" i tried to cut her off.

"-but the reason behind it is extremely personal, and i've- i've never let it out, because h-he told me if i did, he'd f-find me." she stuttered, starting to cry and shake. i hugged her close.

"who?" my voice dropped to a low and cautious tone.

"my ex-boyfriend."

who the fuck is this guy, and what's his address, because i have a fist that i think will fit perfectly against his fucking face, i thought as i balled my fist and pulled stephanie closer with my other hand.

"what happened between you and this ex-boyfriend?" i questioned slowly, slightly scared to know exactly what.
my stomach dropped and my anger meter blew its top the second she let out what was most likely her biggest secret.

she pulled away from me, eyes dry and tear-stained cheeks puffy.
i thought i'd see fear- but the twinkle in her eye reflected something i've never seen in her before.
her brown irises were glazed over with anger and hurt.

she stopped shaking and she balled her fists so hard the blood moved away and her palms were whiter than a ghost.

"he...he raped me."

my eyes widened, and i stopped breathing as every last ounce of color drained from my face.
stephanie was a rape victim?
how in the hell did this happen?
who could possibly feel the need to treat someone as perfect as her like that?

"h-how did it happen?" i coughed out, not sympathizing because i had a feeling that she wasn't look for any.

"it happened a few years ago back when i lived in new jersey, when i turned 17. i was dating a boy named jared. he was 21." she spoke monotonously.