My Last Breath

1.7

Yoooo, been a while hasn't it? well, I was pretty bored in class and decided to re-read My Last Breath, and found it to be more interesting than I remembered. So, here's a quick filler for those who're still reading!

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Aubree's POV

How long has it been? days, I presume. It feels as if I've sat in this creaky bed for ages, having nothing to do but glance up at the ceiling and listen in on Ashton's and his Boss' muffled conversations. The dull and constant ache of my weak and malnourished body has started to get to me. At this point,  I have no control over my own thoughts. My mind is at a constant battle with staying conscious and attempting to keep myself busy to avoid slipping into pure insanity. This is what they want, isn't it?

All I can seem to worry about is if Harry will ever find me, what will happen to me if he doesn't? Will I simply be killed off like a mere insect, like they threatened? Or will they actually consider sending me to Lucifer himself?

I shake my head in an attempt to rid myself of such toxic thoughts. They won't help me one bit being in the condition I'm in.

"Hello? can somebody please answer me?" I shout with a scratchy voice. "I'm thirsty, please, I need water!" my head aches at the noise I'm creating.

There is a faint muffling noise outside the door, along with awkward shuffling. Suddenly, the door creaks open, and my heart races at the possibility of who it could be this time.

Usually, Ashton is the one who brings me food and water. I'm sure he only does it because he is told to, or maybe he feels a bit of guilt, as if he owes me for betraying me to such levels. At this point, it really doesn't matter why.

Thoughtful memories of Ashton and I have continuously flowed through my mind over the past few days. How could he do such a thing? Is it because he is a demon, therefore, all he cares about is fulfilling his goal? Although, every time I consider this possibility, the sincerity of his words and past actions refuse to let me believe so.  Despite what he is doing now, I can't forget everything we've been through. He entered my life at a time when I needed someone most, so he will always hold a place in my heart and be precious to me.

My eyes squint at the bright light shining through the door, my heart races as they close the heavy door behind them, allowing me to finally see.

It's Ashton.

A sigh of relief leaves my lips. Even though I'm angry with him, I have to admit his presence is more welcome than his Boss'. I've come to learn that his name is Tate.

Tate never fails to leave me with an uneasy feeling, especially since he kissed me so suddenly. I can't help but feel nervous, as if he will try something even worse. He constantly intimidates me on purpose, always making sure to leave me shaking when he leaves the room. I don't know what it is, but something about him just doesn't set right with me.

I mean, he does have me held hostage, after all.

"Here." Ashton reaches out his arm to hand me a glass of cold water. I immediately jump in excitement, snatching the water from his fingers in seconds.

I receive a puzzled look from Ashton, his eyebrows raise and his eyes hold a slight feeling of pity. As my hands shake, barely able to hold the heavy glass in my palms, I down the water as fast as my throat will let me.

I peer up to Ashton, wiping the extra water from my chin, coughing, I manage to say, "T-Thank you."

He seems almost surprised at the small gesture. I don't blame him, though. Why am I thanking him? He definitely doesn't deserve my gratitude, although, being this desperate, I can't help myself.

"Look-" he starts. I shake my head, holding my hand out, "Stop, just please don't." I beg, not making eye-contact. "You've done enough. Please go."

I don't think I can handle to hear what excuse he has ready for me this time, my heart and mind are too unstable right now. I will end up pitying him, and giving him more leisure than he deserves. When it comes to close friends, being as I hardly have any to count on one hand, I forgive easily in fear of losing the only people who manage to make me happy.

As I wait to hear the door shut, I find myself waiting in silence, causing me to have no choice but to finally look up at him. As our eyes make contact, I'm left with an empty feeling of sadness. I'm sure he can feel it too. Feelings of old memories, regrets, and uneasiness. Has it really come to this?

"Aub," the use of the pet name he's given me causes a painful sting to my heart, I flinch and await what he has to say. "I need you to know that I'm only doing this to get back home. Okay? I wasn't supposed to get so emotionally attached to you. This was supposed to be easy, and fast." he breathes, stepping back and rubbing his hands over his face.

His words flow through my mind. Tate said a similar thing, something about wanting to go "home," which I suppose is Hell. What could be so great about such a place? Why would he even second think about returning?

"Why do you want to go back so badly?" I repeat my thoughts, disappointed, I look down at my dirty hands.

"I know it may be hard for you to get, but I feel normal there. I can truly be myself. I call it my home because Lucifer opened up his arms to me and made me feel wanted, for once. That is why I must return." he breathes. His words get to me. Somehow, I find myself relating to what he says. I've been in a place of not feeling wanted, or having a place to belong. Though, I had thought that I made him feel as if he were loved. Knowing our friendship could not reach such levels for him, pains me.

My eyebrows furrow, "Was I not enough to make you feel wanted?"

Ashton stares at me for a second, relaying my words in his head. He closes his eyes and smiles, "Aub," he pauses, kneeling down to face me. His closeness causes me to lean back a bit, causing him to sigh and take a step back. "Of course you made me feel wanted. But I'm not looking for that kind of acceptance. I need to feel truly and completely okay with being myself, and despite how much I love being your friend, that doesn't change the fact that I'm not accepted by everyone else here." his eyes stare into mine deeply. "I'm not wanted."

Not wanted? How bad could he possibly be that no one would want him here? I was sure he had been doing fine, I mean, he seemed completely normal to me.

It was all an act, I say to myself.

Too tired to argue, I sigh and nod. "Okay, I get it." I say, "I'm sorry, but I still can't accept what you're doing to me. You were supposed to be my friend, even though it was apart of your plan the whole time, I know you felt it too."

His eyes flash with regret for a mere second before he lowers his head and lowly whispers, "None of that matters now. I will see you later for dinner." I could tell by the sound of his voice that he is just putting up a shield to mask that he truly does care.

And with that, I am left alone in this stuffy room once again.