What we used to be

Chapter 5

Michael wakes up the next day and checks his phone to see that its 11am. Kara really wasn't joking when she said he isn't going to school today. He walks downstairs and finds Kara in the kitchen feeding Ashley.
"Hey, Kara, I was gonna go to the graveyard today. That okay?" He asks and she smiles.
"Of course Michael. However I need you to babysit Ashley so I can go to social services and pick up a few papers, so would you mind taking her?" She asks and Michael nods. He gets dressed and puts on his shoes and hoodie before grabbing his keys, wallet and phone and putting Ashley in her buggy. They say bye to Kara and Michael starts walking to the Graveyard. Michael walks the familiar path to where his mum is buried, buying a few flowers on the way, and takes Ashley out of her buggy. He sits cross legged on the floor facing his mums headstone, sitting Ashley in his lap.
"Hey mum, this is Ashley, she's the newest edition of our family. You'd like her. She reminds me of you. I'm sorry I don't visit often. I hope you know I miss you a lot and I love you. I still think about you every day." Michael says softly, holding Ashley gently on his lap, a tear escaping his eye. The only other ones of his siblings to have come to the graveyard with him were Barb and Lindsay. He wipes the tear away and sighs, moving so his back is resting against the headstone. He moves his legs so they're out in front of him and Ashley lies against his chest, falling asleep. Michael rests his head against the top of the headstone and sighs.
"I really wish you were here mum. I need your help. I have no idea what to do and I know you would know. You always knew what to do. I miss Gavin. I really do. He said he misses me too, well you know the story, you've probably been watching me the whole time. I don't know if I've done the right thing, and I'm scared mum. I wish you were here so bad. You always made me feel better, you had a way of making me feel okay. I miss your hugs mum." Michael says, pausing after every sentence. He sighs and shuts his eyes, resting against his mums headstone gripping the only thing of hers he has, her locket with a picture of her and Michael in it. He sits there for around an hour, most of which he stays silent, sometimes talking to his mum. Ashley is lying on him, she's facing him so she's lying on her stomach on him, her head resting where his heart is, her arms resting near her head. Michaels hands are resting on her back, keeping her safe. He won't let anything hurt her. Nothing and no one will hurt her. Or any of the kids at the foster home. Michael will not let anyone hurt any of his siblings the way Gavin hurt him.

After around an hour Michael hears footsteps so he opens his eyes. He makes sure the buggy is still there before checking Ashley. He sees that she's still asleep and smiles at how peaceful she looks. He looks up and sees that there are a few people walking round the graveyard. He notices an old woman smiling sympathetically at him and he smiles. He stands up carefully and lies Ashley in her buggy before turning back to the woman.
"You alright love?" She asks softly and Michael smiles slightly.
"Yeah, just visiting my mum. I'm Michael, this is my sister Ashley." He says and she smiles softly,
"Hello Michael, I'm Francis. I'm sorry about your mum." She says and he half smiles sadly.
"Thank you. Its been 4 years, it still hurts though you know?" He says and she smiles.
"It's been 15 years since my Ken died, I still miss him every day. I come and visit him every year on our wedding anniversary. It would of been our 60th this year." She says and Michael frowns sadly.
"I'm sorry." He says and he turns back to his mothers grave and takes one of the roses from her bouquet.
"Since Ken isn't here to give you anything, have this." He says handing her the rose. She smiles and takes it.
"Thank you Michael, you're a lovely young man." She says and Michael smiles.
"Do you want to sit down?" He asks gesturing to a bench nearby. Its been so long since Michael has talked to someone that isn't his family, the few friends he has or Gavin's family. They sit and talk for around an hour. They talk about Michaels mum and Francis's husband.

They talk about school and life. Michael tells her about his siblings and Kara and Joel.
"I heard you asking your mum for help." She says and Michael nods.
"Yeah, I've been- I've had a hard week." He says and she smiles.
"Don't you worry about it love. You're a good young boy, and it will get better. Sometimes you find happiness in time, sometimes you have to pretend until you start to actually become happy. But believe me, it will happen." She says before adding, "now, I have to go, my daughter and grandchildren are visiting soon, but I had a lovely time today Michael, I expect great things from you, and I know it will get better, and when you become successful, I expect a thank you in your speeches." She smiles before standing up and, holding the rose in her right hand, she pats his arm gently.
"Goodbye Michael." She says and Michael smiles.
"Goodbye Francis. Thank you so much, for everything." He says and she smiles.
"Thank you, Michael, for my rose." She says before walking away. Michael stays sitting on the bench, smiling slightly. He looks at his mums headstone and sighs.
"I miss you mum." He says before standing up and walking over to her headstone. He kisses his fingers and presses them to the top of the headstone whispering "I love you, mum" before turning back to the buggy and walking away. He checks his phone to see that it's 3:30. He takes his time walking and as he's leaving the graveyard, he notices Gavin standing outside of a house with a few guys from their year. Gavin catches his eye and Michael quickly looks away, instead choosing to focus his glance on Ashley in the buggy.
"Oh look who it is! Hello Michael! We missed you at school today!" He hears one of the boys shout and Michael internally swears. Shit, not with Ashley here, his siblings have never witnessed the way he's treated at school and he doesn't want them to.
"Hey dickhead! I was talking to you!" The same boy yells and Michael glances over to see him start to come over. Michael looks at Gavin then back at Ashley, trying to get his panic across.

The boy walks over and Michael moves so that he's in-between the buggy and him. The boy tries to push Michael but he holds his ground. He doesn't do anything at school because he doesn't care, but Ashley's here and he is not going to risk her getting hurt. The boy looks surprised and tries to punch Michael, who blocks it, pushes the guy back slightly before punching him right in the jaw. The boy is dazed for a few seconds before trying to punch Michael again, who grabs his arm, twists it round his back and grabs his shoulder.
"Do that in front of my sister again and I break your arm, you hear me?" Michael growls loud enough for the others to hear and still managing to sound fucking terrifying and the guy nods. Michael pushes him away and turns back to Ashley, who is now awake and crying quietly. He continues walking down the road and sighs with relief when he turns the corner, picking Ashley up and trying to calm her. He walks home and as soon as he's in Kara rushes into the hall.
"There you are! I was wondering where you got to!" She says panicked and Michael smiles apologetically.
"I was talking to my mum. I also had a conversation with an old woman called Francis. She gave me advice on what to do and stuff." He explains and she smiles.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He says and she looks at him skeptically before nodding and walking away. Michael puts Ashley down and she waddles off to the kitchen while Michael walks into the front room, collapsing on the sofa.

"You alright Michael?" Meg asks walking through the door.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He says and she smiles.
"Come on, me and Linds are making cookies." She says holding out a hand to him and he smiles and takes it, letting her pull him up and walk him to the kitchen. She puts an apron on him and he laughs. She chose the frilly pink apron with flowers covering it, it matches the ones her and Lindsay are wearing. Michael rolls his eyes and helps with the baking, the three of them taking selfies in their aprons half way through. They make cookies and cupcakes and all the younger kids help ice them.
"Michael, can you help me with homework?" Meg asks and Michael smiles.
"Yeah sure."
"I need help too!" Lindsay says and Michael chuckles, going over to the door and shouting into the house.
"Alright everyone that needs help with their homework come to the dining room." He says before walking into the dining room carrying the plate of cookies. The thing about being second oldest is that even though two of your siblings aren't that much younger than you, they still ask you for help with homework. They would ask Ryan too, but he isn't here. Ryan's better at English and the humanities subjects whereas Michael's better at science and maths. They sit at the table and everyone gets their work out. Michaels already finished all his work so he focuses on everyone else. He helps Meg and Barbara with maths, Lindsay with physics, and Ray and Dan with their spelling and reading. They all help each other in this family, and Michael loves it. When they're finished with their work they go and watch a film in the front room. When the film finishes they help cook dinner, eat, then go to bed.

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