aftermath | jinseob [discont.]

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"i'm extremely happy to see you again, seobie." jisung-hyung patted my shoulder, stroking my hair gently.

"exhausted by the works of the other members, hyung?"

he cringed. "oh god, yes— rapper line, it's your turn! chop chop everyone, it's a busy day," his eyes shifted to park jihoon, who was still sitting comfortably at the chair in front of us, staring at the remaining macaroons valiantly. the boy looked up to see jisung's deadly glare. "what?"

jisung sighed. "jihoon, what position are you?"

"visuals and— oh right." he stiffly got up from his seat and followed the other rappers for their group photoshoot. "it's not my fault that ymc barely gives me lines to convince me that i'm a legit rapper."

"no need to be salty, you really think i want this, sweetie?" jisung bit his lip, his arm slowly resting to my shoulder. "see? this is extremely tiring. for god's sake jaehwan, what in the world are you doing?"

"i'm the main rapper!" jaehwan called out egocentrically. he takes a couple of poses with daniel, who didn't mind the short boy's presence.

"get out of there."

"yes mom." jaehwan immediately listened to jisung's command, dragging himself back to his seat.

though i was somehow caught off in a gauche situation between me and woojin (it was obvious that he tries his best to ignore my existence, and too vice versa), being with these boys brought this inexplicable, bittersweet feeling. the ongoing vibe is the same as what i feel when we were still at our dorms, but it's very different at the same time. it's the feeling of getting a guarantee that from now on, we won't be left unscathed by the idol industry that makes it different. the guarantee that yes, from now on, a stride to fame doesn't seem to be so hard anymore. once you're a part of the most anticipated boy group to debut this year, all there is left to do is to smile to the cameras.

this was the life i spent more than 3 months struggling for. the life i could've had before the decisions were made; not in honor, but for the purpose of granting my company's assets.

do i even have the rights to be jealous?

before i get wangled by the negative thoughts in my head, daehwi immediately cuts through my hesitations. he wraps his hands around my arm and rests his head on my shoulder. "i miss you, hyungseob-hyung."

"hmm-hmm."

"woojin-hyung misses you too."

"daehwi, please try not to get into his personal business," jisung reminded gently, his tone different talking to the younger members than to the older hyungs.

daehwi tilted his head. "what do you mean, personal business?"

jisung looked at me considerably. "let's just say that hyungseob-hyung and woojin-hyung had a little altercation that we should probably not discuss."

i returned his gaze, my eyes blinking a few times. "woojin told you about..?"

jisung nodded. "i'm deeply sorry for you, hyungseob. that's the worst thing anyone could ever do to a boy with a dream."

i nodded back. of course jisung knows, he's the leader of wanna one. the staff might've told him first before they plan for their debut, or if it was woojin who told him everything. whatever it is, having jisung knowing about it perhaps brought the feeling of comfort to woojin, and I don't mind that.

daehwi pouted his lips. "whatever happened, i hope you'd fix it, hyung."

"thanks, daehwi-ah."

the photoshoot ended shortly, with each and every member getting an individual and group photo. everyone taking turns to have a little chat with me after their individual photoshoots, including sungwoon-hyung and jaehwan-hyung that i wasn't that close with back in produce 101. everyone except woojin, that is.

"listen up, everyone!" jisung gathers everyone at my table when i was busy having a conversation with minhyun-hyung. "after this, you guys have the opportunity to get a free schedule until noon."

everyone lets out happy responses of 'yes' and 'finally'.

"but," jisung continued. "don't forget about your video diary!"

ong-hyung and woojin-hyung groan in dissatisfaction. i leaned over guanlin. "what video diary?"

"uh, for our reality show thing." guanlin explained shortly. "basically we have to record everything we do."

"it's like produce 101 all over again." daniel-hyung cuts through our conversation. "it's just seen in a friendlier way."

i nodded along. must be shit, not being able to do anything without being recorded.

"hyungseob-hyung, would you like to come?" daehwi asked me, a question that brought everyone's attention.

for all that i know, hanging out with them again just for one day is nice, i don't think my manager would mind me being in their reality show for just one episode. i nodded. "sure, why not?"

"great!" jisung said excitedly. "we're separated in two groups though; the hyung line and the maknae line. where'd you want to be?"

personally, even if there's no woojin, i'd really like to try being with the hyungs. i might not be that close to them then, but this might be a chance for me to get to know them more; especially minhyun-hyung, i always wanted to get to know him better. before i could answer, jinyoung answered the question by himself. "nope, y'ain't taking him! he's coming with us."

"aye, he's now a part of the pink sausage clan." jihoon shouted out as he forced woojin to put his arm around him. "welcome home, brother!" woojin was confuzzled and wasn't planning to be a part of this chaos. he just nodded along in cooperation.

"then it's settled," jisung grinned. "ahn hyungseob, from now on, you are the hypothetical, lost twelfth member of wanna one."

"and the pink sausage clan!" jihoon called out.

"and the pink sausage clan."