aftermath | jinseob [discont.]

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"that's what you're now saying?" woojin renders himself into the situation, now his gaze strengthens. i thought he would've reached satisfaction at this point, but turns out it wasn't enough. "that you did it to keep me from being unhappy?"

"i kept you from hate and misery." i assert. "you wouldn't forgive yourself. you would curse at your company at all times. you would beat yourself until there's nothing left of you. but now you know, and i couldn't stop that from happening."

he pauses. ".. and you don't think that won't happen to you if you didn't tell me? you wouldn't beat yourself either?"

"i'd survive."

"is survival the only thing important to you in this kind of situation?" woojin laughs faintly. "you're talking as if we're still in produce 101. what's the point of surviving this one time when you'd still have a gun pointing towards you and you don't know when it's going to pull its trigger? what's the point of surviving when you don't even feel like you're alive?"

i shake my head. "you're exaggerating."

"no, i'm thinking rationally." he crosses his arms. "if i did know, i'd still be aware of the fact that there are other 10 boys in the same situation as me. if i did not know, it means that you're alone, hyungseob. this horrible thing happened to you and you only. even the other yuehua trainees couldn't relate to the situation."

i pause. i didn't have the strength to continue the argument as i had enough fighting with him. i thought i would've greeted him in open arms once i see him again, but turns out i was wrong. "i'm tired. let's just stop."

his gaze softens. "just this once i heard ahn hyungseob tired of talking."

i sigh. "i hadn't been myself this couple of weeks."

"i feel the same."

—

it's crazy how i could change it from fluff to angst in a split second lmao i promise the next chapter'll be pretty fluffy tho and it'll involve a couple of other pd101 boys!!

— yuehwa