LOVE, LUST, FAITH AND LIES (A Jared Leto Fairy Tale)

Devastation

"Baby gerl, they're not all the same" Orlaith said soothingly as they sat on the floor of the tent. Shooting a small glance at Padraig he knew that they needed a girl talk, went back to bed shaking his head sympathetically. Wanting to throttle that Winston himself he climbed back into the camp bed and fell into a fitful sleep. "Yiv got to stop this Shivvy darlin' they're not at all the same. People are diverse ye know. Ye got unlucky, so ye did ti come across two bastids cut from the same cloth but there's plenty out there that aren't like that. 90% of men aren't like them Shiv, believe me I've seen the statistics and seen enough ti know. Cuz there's plenty of women as well that are bastids too. Winston was a cunt, so he was, and I'd have got him a lot longer had I bin the barrister, I tell ye that and if I knew I could git away wit the perfect murder I would kill him and believe me Padraig would be there by me side cus whatever ye think of him, he loves ye to bits, thinks the world of ye! But sweetheart, ye can't go on like this. It's bin 2 years and that bastid can't git in contact with ye, hasn't even tried. Let him go! In ye head and in ye heart. Him and ye daddy cared more fir the liquor than they did for ye. But it's very clear to me that that poor lad there can have anyone he wants in the world but he wants YE, Shiv, ye gerl! He knew ye hardly any time at all yet he felt so much love fi ye that he was willing to share his life with ye, but ye said no because ye can't BARE ti feel because ti feel is ti hurt. But sometime darlin' it's good to hirt cus ye learn from it. Like when ye play wit a bee when yir little and that bee stings ye, it hurts, and ye learn not ti play with bees again. Now, I've been around the block a few times and even with Padraig and me, I never, EVER seen such electricity between two people in me life! Stood there in the crowd yesterday I heard a lot of fans saying "they must already be together" "or oh me GOD have ye ever seen the way he looks at her? Lucky bitch" o r "oh look at them, they're so sexual I'm turned on meself" or " the eternal bachelor is no more" and so on and so forth. I kid ye not gerl and I know fi a fine fact ye feel the same way. So git back in the saddle and go get yi man before it's too late. This is a fairy tale hen and ye need ti grab it wi both hands and not let go. Also, this is Jared fecking Leto, the fittest guy on the planit" Orlaith laughed "ye simply can't let go. I won't let ye let go. Yil do as I say gerl. Now I know fi a fine fact that ye got his number. Ye ring it and say yiv changed ye mind or I will. Ye understand?" Shiv, finally snorted a laugh and squeezed Orlaith tight. "Now ye go and git some rest, this musta bin quite a night cus ye look like shite!" Shiv who'd got up off the floor to get ready for bed turned, grinned and threw a simple wipe at Orlaith saying "twas, I'm as dry as a nun's fanny Now, so I am! He can't half fuck and the rumours are true Orls, he's hung like a fecking stallion, so he is" "Well even more reason ti keep the fecker!" Orlaith swooned. The best friends laughed together and hugged before they went into their respective rooms, where Shiv flaked out from pure exhaustion.

Shiv sat in a deck chair, desperately trying to get through her curls with an  afro comb and frizz ease humming Hurricane to herslef. "Well, someone's  chipper this morning. Must have something ti do with having a fecking awesome best friend" Orlaith said, entering the living area. "Aye thi best friend in the world who I wouldn't swap fi a million euros" Shiv replied honestly. "Careful now, I might git such a big head I won't fit through that tent flap there" "who said I was talking about ye? I was talking about this frizz ease" "ah, shut it fizzy wig" the two friends joked "If ye and ye beloved hadn't fucked yeselves into a sweaty mess last night yid not be in this situation now would ye? How ye feeling this morning inyway?" Orlaith smirked "Like I've been shafted by a drainpipe, me pussies on fire" laughed Shiv "what ye get fi being a dirty birdy!" "Ah shut it" they both burst into raucous laughter. " I reckoned we should have a gerly day ay? It's been too long. I've left Pat a note on the bed ti let him know where we are and what we're doing and where we are. Weather's changed, so let's go ti the stalls ay? See if we can find a bargain or two?" " sounds right up me alley today Orls"." Don't ye think ye alleys had enough of a battering this weekend?" Orlaith teased. Shiv burst into hysterical laughter and she saw a piece of the old Shiv, shining out from the darkness. With Shiv finally ready Orlaith said cheerfully "Right incey wincey, let's go!" and the best friends walked, nudging each other, out and straight into a little sheepy circle of echelon.