My Godfather is Who?

Chapter 12

Stella

Suicide. I don't really want to die, I suppose. I'll just be very numb and maybe wake up or maybe not. I guess I don't care. I guess they don't either.

I finish the note.  I'm ready.  I can do this.  I fold it gingerly and write 'Alex and Hayley....I'm sorry....' on the front.  I put my headphones in and play My Chemical Romance, starting with "The Light Behind Your Eyes" and try not to cry.  How do I begin?  I've never attempted this before...Where do I start?  Do I take a look around this place, memorize everything, keep it with me as I go?  Do I just go?  How long before they find the letter?  How much will they really care? They won't care at all, stupid. I tell myself.  You'll only do them all a favor. But still. I can't leave Noah out of this whole thing. I sit and begin writing, I hear the phone ring, but I can't bare to talk to them.

Dear Noah,

...I'm sure you're finding this the same time as Alex and Hayley...but maybe not, because we haven't spoken...I'm sorry for...

I cut off and try to think of how to word it.  I've never done this.

Alex

I ring the house a few times.  No answer. "You guys are on in five!"I hear my manager say. I'll try again after the show.  The kids probably out....but it's almost 9:30...then maybe she's sleeping...she is a teenager.  Teenagers stay up as late as they can one night and then completely crash the next, right?  That's what I did. It's what I still do. I should focus on the show.  She's responsible.  She'll be okay and if it's too late when we're done then I'll call her in the morning.

Hayley (whoa new perspective!)

Great.  Just great.  I'm stuck with my constantly drunken father and neither of my friends will pick up the phone.  I mean I guess Noah's my friend....well friend/crush...but I can't like him, he likes Stella and Stella likes him so...I guess I'll have to get over it....but what if they're hanging out without me? I think.  That's been my biggest fear ever since the sixth grade with my friends Mikey and Ariel.

Back then I had a crush on Mikey.  We were all three the best of friends in fifth grade, but in sixth grade I found out about all of the times Mikey and Ariel had been hanging out without me.  Once I called him, the day I was going to try and tell him that I liked him, he said he was sick and then the next day I was doing a "hacked by..." post on Ariel's Facebook and saw pictures of them together the day before.  When I asked them about it they told me they didn't want to be my friend anymore.  Ariel made fun of me for liking Mikey in front of him...so much for trusting people...Ariel left. Mikey left. My mom left....

Back to reality.  Noah and Stella were probably at her Godfather's place...making out or something. The past has repeated.

Alex

It's the next morning and still no reply. I try Hayley. She's gotten nothing either.  Next I try Noah, but as Stella, he proves no avail.  Tour has to wait.  I'm going home.  "Hey guys..." I say, stepping out of my hotel room. I explain and they nod. I have great band mates, my only problem now is Bob...our manager...great. Hopefully the fans will understand.

I sit down with Bob and explain everything.  "You're over reacting, kid." He says. "Just have someone go by, hell the cops if you have to, but you can't just take off of tour for something that's probably a misunderstanding.  Do you know how much money we'd lose for you to rush home just to see some lazy ass teenager sitting on the couch, too tired to pick up the damn phone!?"  He grunts.  I wish I could slap him, but he's sort of right...not for calling Stella a lazy ass teen, but for me to get someone to check on her.  Why didn't I think of that? I head back to the hotel room and tell the guys. We have another show in about an hour.  I have to get ready.

Stella

I didn't sleep all night, I was writing, rewriting, and finishing Noah's two page letter.  I can't stop the negative thoughts. "We raised you better. You're such a failure." I hear my dad say. The same thing my mom has been telling me. They won't shut up. I know I can't call Hayley to tell her goodbye, because she'll answer for sure, and I can't face that right now. I can't call Noah either, because regardless if he answers or not, I know I won't be able to handle it. I have to call Alex's cell, he deserves that much.  Just as I hoped, he didn't answer.  "I love you. Goodbye." I say before snapping the phone shut.
It's time.