My Godfather is Who?

Chapter 13

******Trigger Warning!*****

Stella

"I love you. Goodbye." I say, snapping the phone shut. It's time.

I sit on my bed. Bottles of pills sitting in front of me. The last thing I'll cost Alex. I have my headphones in, my iPod in on full charge, so I can fall into my final sleep with my music. I made sure the front and back door were locked, so I wouldn't have interruptions. I started out with the same song I had listened to on and on yesterday while writing Noah's letter, "The Light Behind Your Eyes" by My Chemical Romance.

"So long to all of my friends,

Everyone of them met tragic ends,

With every passing day,

I'd be lying if I didn't say,

That I miss them all tonight,

And if they only knew what I would say,

If I could be with you tonight,

I would sing you to sleep,

Never let them take the light behind your eyes,

One day, I'll lose this fight..."

A few pills, another song. Red is the color of love....I love you mom...I love you dad....I love you Alex...But red is also for anger and resentment....I resent the bullies....I resent their taunting...I resent my life. I resent myself. I resent my thoughts. I resent being alone. I resent what Noah does to me. I resent it all

I can't remember what played last....It sounded like Gerard Way singing 'All I Want For Christmas is You" and I felt funny, because it's not Christmas....but I also felt like I was still crying. My posters began to get blurry and everything was flickering between black and color. Just before I closed my eyes I saw the figure of someone and hear "STELLA, NO!"

Anonymous Person

I climb in the window and see the notes on the table. I search desperately, when suddenly I hear her cries from upstairs. I rush up to find her door is locked. I pull out my pocket knife and shove it in the door, it pops open. I see her there on the bed, covered in blood, chuckling, her eyes stained with tears. She slumps back and begins to close her eyes. "STELLA,NO!" I cry, rushing to her side and pulling out my phone to call for help.

*Sometime Later* Stella

I lay in a room that's all white. There's so much light that I think I'll go blind. I shut my eyes and listen. I hear my Grandma's voice....she was ill last I heard....they weren't sure she'd live much longer, but Alex wasn't able to fly me out to see her....is she dead? But that would mean I must be too. Am I in Heaven? Can you still reach Heaven if you kill yourself? Although I guess you do, because I have little doubt that my grandmother couldn't make it to Heaven. Maybe I should go find her and ask her, but I'm so sore.

Noah
Suddenly I notice the grip on my hand. I look down to see Stella holding it. I jump on top of her. "Don't ever do that again!" I whisper, it's evident that I've began crying. "What happened?" She asks, a little confused. "I came and found you after you left Alex that voicemail. You scared the shit out of us. Please, we love you Stella. I love you." I say. I've never cried this much. I hug her tightly and peck her on the lips. "I'm sorry I ignored you for so long...I'm just scared to get close...I thought...I-I thought....I don't know...I just.." She shushes my stuttering with another kiss. I examine her for a second. "I HAVE TO TELL THE OTHERS YOU'RE AWAKE!" I practically scream, jumping up and running to the door. "They only allowed one in the room at a time....I kind of forced the others out..." I say bashfully. "How long was I asleep?" She questioned as I begin to open the door. "Nearly two weeks." I say. Doctors rush in past me, nearly knocking me down. Alex pushes me into the wall hard. "What the fuck is your problem?" He scolds. I don't respond. He moves on.