The Spider and The Flame (Peter Parker)

Part 13- Secret

As all good things come to an end, my time without my restricting suit on was no exception. Yesterday was really fun, spending the day with Pete and being able to use my powers was a whole new experience.

Last night was absolutely perfect. Pete makes me feel special and important and really really happy. I'm so happy to have met him.

Today I have training with Black Widow again. I really like Natasha, she's smart and cunning and very suave. She's an interesting role model to have, but I tend to be an interesting person.

"Hey, Ash! Ready to spend the afternoon with me?" Natasha asks as we walk down the hallway towards the training room from before.

"Yeah, of course," I smile, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Can't wait," Pete chimes in, walking on my right while Natasha is on my left. Pete and I have our fingers entwined.

"Oh, no, no, no, Pete. Girls day today." She raises her eyebrows at Pete, trying to dismiss him for the day.

"What? You're kicking me out?" Pete exclaims, pouting with his bottom lip out.

"Sorry, only cool people for today," I laugh, smiling widely with my teeth.

Pete slows his walk and squeezes my hand. He drops my hand dramatically and runs back in the other direction, then uses his web shooters to disappear upstairs.

Natasha and I finally reach the training room and enter quietly. Natasha seems kind of on edge, looking around constantly and clearly sweating. She looks down to her watch and presses several buttons, then grabs my arm abruptly.

"Stay close, be quiet," she whispers, pulling me back out of the training room and running with me down the hallway. We reach a room I've never entered before and she types a number into a keypad to the right of the door. She pulls me inside and gently closes the lock.

"What's going on?" I finally ask, while she walks around the room closely examining the exits. The room is full of several computers and software systems.

"Steve has a message for you," she sighs, gesturing me towards a lit up computer.

"Never fell out of the whole double agent thing, did you?" I ask. It's not that I'm unappreciative of her helping me, I just find that it's not morally right of her to be on both sides. I don't have much respect for those who don't know where their loyalties lie.

"Would you rather I give the message to Tony?" She scoffs.

"No, sorry," I stutter, "that was rude of me," I sigh.

I move towards Natasha and take a seat opposite her, where I can see the screen. On the computer I see a paused video of Steve, sitting with Bucky and Sam.

Steve broke everyone out of that prison but was too late to save me. It hurts knowing that he hasn't tried to contact me until now, almost three weeks later, but at least he's contacting me at all.

"Hey, kiddo," Steve smiles, staring into the computer's camera. "Nat says Tony has been treating you well. I'm glad to hear it. I know you don't want to be there, you don't deserve to be locked up. We're going to come get you soon, don't worry. I need you to do something for us first, though." Steve coughs, shifting in his chair.

"We don't have a way to get past the security there." Bucky adds in.

"We need you to find out pass codes, figure out what doors to open, find a way outside. Nat says you've been under constant surveillance, but honestly that kid isn't any smarter than you, Ash. He knows everything we need to get you out of there. Get outside, and we'll be waiting for you in the forest nearby. Just come running, kiddo." Steve smiles.

The video ends and I sit awestruck. Steve is asking me to use Peter as a pawn to escape. I don't know if I can use Pete like that.

"If you really care about him..." Nat warns, "don't leave while he still cares about you."

"What do you mean?" I ask. Hearing the word 'him', my immediate thought is always Pete. I'm not totally sure what she means.

"Pete is a good kid. He's strong and he's brave, but he's stupid and naive. He trusts you, he cares about you, he likes you, maybe he even loves you. If you want him to be okay in the end, you need to lie. You need to tell him that you don't feel the same way. That's the only way he'll ever get over this."

A tear runs from my eye. Until this moment, I didn't realize I was tearing up. Hearing Nat say those things about how Pete feels is both comforting and heartbreaking. I gave Steve my word that I'd be loyal to him, and thanks to my word I have to leave everything behind. I have to leave Peter behind.

The only problem with that is, I think I love Peter.

I know it's been a short amount of time, and I know it's completely inconceivable to love someone after such a short time. I know that what I'm thinking is crazy and naive. I know that the idea of love is insane, but I don't care.

I've been with Peter all day every day for the past few weeks, and I've grown to really trust him. He knows about my past, and I know about his. He knows things about me that I hardly know to be true myself, and he's helped me to become a better person since I arrived.

Of every guy in this world, he is the only one I've let inside of my hard shell. He's been a part of one of my most exhilarating life experiences, and I'll never be able to forget it.

Peter is the HIM in every piece of poetry I can think of, and in any love story ever written. He's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me.

The real question is, is there a way to be loyal to Steve and make Pete understand? Probably not. He's very head strong and won't betray Tony under any circumstance. While this is something I find extremely attractive about him (loyal boys are the best boys), it's also something that could tear us apart.

How can I do this to him?

How can I do this to myself?

How do I break his heart without completely shattering my own?