can't fake it anymore

confused

the next couple of week was amazing , but if i'm gonna be completely honest it felt different . i felt less me , if that makes sense. every time he complimented me it didn't feel special , every time he kissed me i didn't feel butterflies , every time we laid together or touched it felt off. not on my side ,
i felt like i annoyed him. he didn't seem as into me . i was lost in thought when someone sat next to me in class. " what are you doing ? " i asked trying not to look at him. him as in grayson. " what do you mean ? i thought we were friends ? " he said friendly punching me on that arm. " we haven't talked in days grayson " i said now looking at him. he looked hurt , he had bags under his eyes , his hair was messy , and he was wearing sweatpants , he never wore that to school . " i know y/n .. and i'm sorry , i've been ... busy , but we uh need to talk later , meet me at my house at 8 , i'm serious. " he started to stand up when i grabbed his arm , " about what ? " he sighed and turned to me , " jack. " he practically ran off . what could he need to say about jack ? it was a little after 8 when i started heading for grayson's house . when i arrived he was already outside waiting for me , " he lets go in " he said standing up and opening the door for me. we got inside and sat on his bed in his room . " so what did you want to tell me ? " i asked getting more and more nervous by the second . " look i didn't want to tell you this way .. but i saw him walk out of the janitors closet with Alyvia.. " i don't know why but instead of getting upset i got mad . " GRAYSON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ?! how could you make up some bullshit lie ?!? i thought we were friends. i'm out of here. " i started to stand up when he grabbed my arm making me turn around. " i'm not lying , but if you don't believe me , use a hall pass in 5th period and go to the upstairs janitor closet . you'll find out yourself " he started getting mad so i took that as a hint to leave. " whatever , i got to go. see you at school " i went home . the rest of the day i just face timed jack but he kept pausing me , i didn't think much of it until it was 5 period , the next day , i let the curiosity get the best of me and i took the hall pass , went the the second floor and waited . until i heard the door click. and i watched Alyvia and jack walk out ... with swollen lips and marks all over his neck... before i knew it i was crying when they both looked at me. alyvia ran off to her next class trying to avoid me and jack just gave me a sympathetic look , he started walking towards me , " no " i half yelled " how could you " i more whispered this and walked away , i couldn't stand looking at him anymore .
after school, i was still hurt , still crying on and off , as i walked to grayson's . i knocked on the door with tears in my eyes about to walk away when the door slowly opened , " y/n ? "