Meliora

Uncovering The Truth

I just take a deep breath, trying my best to swallow the heaviness. After all I had nothing to do with this. He made his bed, he was responsible for this not me so I had no guilt that needed to be on my shoulders , besides I didn't feel he was suited to be Pope anyway. Whoever replaces him would have to be a million times better than. I take a deep breath and stand up, I keep my eyes on the ground and walk out as I try to silence the thoughts running through my mind. Then suddenly I feel someone grab my arm. "Sister Pandora..would you please join me out in the garden? It's nice out we shouldn't let it go to waste." I shake my head. "No Papa, I'm sorry but I have duties to tend to and I'm sure you do as well." I say keeping a neutral tone as I pull away. "Sister-" "No, I'm sorry Papa but I can't. As I said I have things I have to do. At least spend your last days as Pope as a respectable one." I didn't even care to see his eyes begin to water, I just lost my pity for him and nothing else. "Alright..you're right. Please sister Pandora I hope that you can forgive my actions." "Of course Papa, now I must be on my way." He nods. "Of course sister." He says in a neutral tone as he continues to look down. I bite my lip and continue walking. I just couldn't give into him, not after all of that. With the Second and what he had done I felt so helpless and I had felt as if Papa hadn't even cared. I just needed to at least clear my head. But how? I sigh as I make a turn down the corridor and go into the library. Thankfully there was no one else in here so it was exactly how I liked it. Me being all alone. I bite my lip as I begin to walk around, slowly tuning out the world as I feel myself begin to relax a bit until I hear. "Sister Pandora?" I stop dead in my tracks as soon as I hear that voice, I instantly recognize it as Sister Imperator, surely she wasn't going to scold me for I haven't done anything wrong. I turn around and look at her. "Yes Sister Imperator?" She places her book down on the table and sighs heavily. "My child, there is so much uneasiness in your heart I can sense it. I can tell it is causing a distraction." I look down at the floor then up at her once again. "Sister I can assure I have not let my emotions get in the way of my duties as a sister, this I can promise you." Without a word she stands up and pushes her chair in. "Come sister." I knew better than to dare stand and argue with the older sister, I nod and follow her as she makes her way out of the side door leading out into the court yard. "Now please tell me what seems to be bothering you." I let out a long sigh as I shake my head. "I do have some things on my mind at the moment but it hasn't really got in the way as I have said..but." I take a deep breath. "Forgive me Sister, but Papa has clouded my mind. He seemed so nice and perhaps it was foolish lust but I felt a connection to him and I have unfortunately allowed it to get to me in a way." I lean against the brick wall of the monastery and close my eyes. "But Sister, I can not do this..I ran to this monastery as a safe haven. As a fresh beginning, you see after the sexual assault I faced I felt so helpless and just..I felt dead inside, joining this monastery meant that I could start over and potentially be somebody, but unfortunately I could not shut down the one imperfection we all must bear. These lustful thoughts have clouded my mind." Sister Imperator just shakes her head. "My child, you love Papa. Is this correct?" I could not avoid her stare, I start to tremble as I look up at her. "Yes Sister I do, or well I did..but you see I found out the type of man he is." "The type of man he is?" Imperator repeats as she looks at me. "Yes, you see the Second knocked me unconscious and drug me out of the monastery and Papa never came looking for me once. How can I love a man like that?" I watch as sister Imperator shakes her head. "How can you say that he did not seem to care? Papa came to me ready to have the hounds hunting for you but I told him we must wait we had to do things by the book. We had to wait, to make sure that you wouldn't just show up the day or whatever, which is when he decided to leave because of the guilt. I don't know where you have got this false information but do not let him slip away. I have made the same mistake and would hate to see you do the same." I take a deep breath as I feel my heart sink. "Of course..he must have manipulated what I seen..but oh my god no. Sister I have messed it up..I have messed everything up I talked down to him and left him standing. I have made a fool of Papa." Imperator sighs as she places her hand on my shoulder. "I think you just need to take a day or so to yourself and really think about this. You have the power to change it, keep that in mind and don't let the chance pass you by. Now sister I must leave you with that but please keep these words in mind." "Yes sister.." I say quietly as I continue to look down and shake my head as I start to become blind with tears. How could I be so foolish? I slowly stand up and make my way to my chamber, I just need to be alone for awhile.