Control ~ newtmas (completed)

Chapter 5

Thomas POV 

So it ended up that last night Newt and I stayed on the facetime call for two hours....

I think we are friends now but I'm not sure. I hope he does well on his essay though because I PUT EFFORT INTO THAT SHIT. For real though Newt needs to put more effort into his work... to be honest though it's really funny to read his work because he makes the worst mistakes ever and it's so funny.

Well, I have lunch at this period and I have nothing better to do. I'm pretty sure Newt has other essays that he has written saved. I will ask him if I can check them.

I don't know if he has lunch though right now .. eh whatever hopefully he doesn't mind me calling him.

I attempt to call him but he doesn't pick up. 

Then my phone beeps.

you little shit. I'm in class right now! - Newt

 haha so what? - Thomas

ummm I will get in trouble. What do you want? - Newt 

do you have any other essays you have written I can read? they're funny - Thomas

you nerd - Newt

can you send them to me? pleasee! - Thomas

fine. I will send you a whole folder of essays - Newt 

you good? - Thomas

yeah ttyl - Newt

I would text him to fix his attitude but whatever. Surprisingly he sends me a whole folder with essays very quickly.

Scrolling through the titles all the titles are like "ew english" or "tf science?"

But one catches my eye, "funeral speech."

hmm. I decide to click on it. 

I start reading.

Danny. He meant the world to me. I loved him a lot even though he would always ditch me during 1st period just to sleep in (laugh). He was always there for me though, and not many people are usually there for me at all times. He was though, now he won't be.. 

I shouldn't be reading this... I think to myself.  Newt is very personal about his life. I can't get into this.

This was written six months ago ... so it's pretty recent. There is more to the speech but I don't think I should read it. 

I shut my laptop down. Newts not very personal, but seeing him write a funeral speech doesn't give me good feels.

six minutes later

Okay, so I actually read a little more of Newts speech and I wow. The speech was six pages long. No, I didn't read it all but I read a good two pages. I just can't believe he lost his best friend to suicide. I can't function when people talk about suicide. I can't deal with it. What will I do when I see Newt on the bus?

Newt POV

"END OF THE DAY BITCHES!" I scream to Minho after chemistry. 

I am so happy school is over! My favorite leather jacket is on sale at the mall for $43 AND IT WAS $60 before. I have no one to drive me but screw that I will find some way to get to the mall.

YO THE BUS IS HERE EARLY TOO! It usually picks us up 20 mins late. 

I see Thomas walking to catch our bus. He sees me walking as well, I can't really explain what his expression is but I know it's fake. It's like a fake smile you can say... but it's not on purpose.  He gets on the bus before me and sits down.

I sit down right next to him. 

"Why so sad Tommy?" I look at him.

"Tommy?" 

"YUP" 

"I'm fine just really tired." He says looking out the window.

"oh no. My essays were so bad that they made you depressed instead of happy." I facepalm myself.

All of a sudden Thomas shoulders tense up... the fuck?

He's not okay. 

Ummm.

"Thomas?" 

"Yea." He won't look at me.

"Look at me please." 

"no"

I can't force him to tell me what's wrong because I don't tell him personal stuff either but I never really see him in this mood and it confuses me. Maybe it was a bad grade or something. 

"okay" I don't know what else to say to him.

We don't say anything for the whole bus ride but when my stop comes I look at him. 

"Feel better." That's the last thing I said to him and I left.

I look back and he's still facing the window.

What happened?

three hours later  

Turns out I got my leather jacket and it's beautiful. 

Nice and black. 

Who drove me to the mall though? My neighbor hahaha I bet he hates me though because I dragged him along the mall with me because I just needed this one leather jacket. 

Anyways, I decided to clean out my folders on my computer and I notice that I recently opened my essay folder. 

The last time I opened that folder was two weeks ago. 

Oh wait I shared it with Thomas!

I look at the ones he opened. 

He opened the really bad ones ughh why! Actually, all of them are bad nevermind.

Wait

Fuck

No

No

NO

he opened my funeral speech for Danny 

OH MY shiT

THAT'S WHY HE WAS QUITE NO. NO. 

I put so many deep thoughts into that speech and ugh I never even said that speech oh my god. 

How will I face him tomorrow?

HOW COULD HE OPEN SOMETHING SO PERSONAL? 

It's my fault though I should have known better.

A/N : Sorry for all the grammar mistakes know that I'm just writing whatever the heck comes out of my mind lol.