Control ~ newtmas (completed)

Chapter 25

A/N: I DONT THINK YOU GUYS NOTICED BUT I TOLD HOW NEWT TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE TWICE AGH. IM SORRY THIS STORY IS SO CONFUSING OML. IT ACTUALLY  PISSES ME OFF HOW LIKE THIS STORY IS ALWAYS CHANGING OMG. 

Newt POV 

When I get back home I lay down on my bed with my thoughts. 

I don't know exactly what to think though. 

I literally broke down in the hospital in front of Thomas. 

I just like him though? Right? Or hmmm love him?

No, no, no it's too fast for love. 

Newt thinks to himself about his relationship with Thomas. 

From bumping into the hallway to staying up at night with a two hour face time call to finding Thomas drunk at Minho's to going on that hotel trip that sucked ass but brought them closer and now here they are now. 

All the conversations they've had. 

Newt cared about every single conversation he had with Thomas. 

Why though?

Why does he care?

Why does he feel this way towards Thomas?

When Thomas kissed him why did he like it?

Sooner or later Newt realizes something. 

Thomas pays attention to him. He cares. A lot. 

He makes Newt feel happy, even if he's yelling at him he doesn't mind because Thomas cares. Who stays up for two hours at night to help with an essay? Not only did they work on the essay they were talking and having a little fun too. Newt rarely feels happy anymore, every time he looks happy most of the time he's faking it. With Thomas, it's something different. 

Everyone is so caught up in their lives that they only pay attention to themselves. 

Because of that Newt always has had a sadness in him. 

He feels like no one cares anymore. 

That sadness is slowly going away now. 

Because of  Thomas. 

"Guess I really love that loser," Newt says face palming himself with a smile forming on his face. 

Looking back on their memories Newt realizes that they're always talking about him and his past. He has just recently figured out about Thomas and his family background. He decides that he needs to show more attention to him and make up for all his dumb mistakes. 

Newt feels horrible. 

The way he treated Thomas was crappy and because of that it probably affected him. 

Obviously, Thomas will not say that to Newt that he, himself, wanted attention from Newt. 

That's why he kissed the girl. 

Oh my gosh Thomas why do you come up with crazy plans. 

He kissed the girl so I could see. He wanted me to focus on him. Plus, his mom says he's completely gay. 

We both caused each other so much pain, but it's now over. 

Newt finally understands what Thomas wants. 

He knows what to do. 

*back at school on Monday* 

"No fucking way," Minho says to me while Jazz and I stand in the hallway.