I Know a Place

She is not just a girl

Continue...
Shannon pov:
"Yours..." she says and tries to come closer to me but I move back. "Mine? How in the hell is it my fault? You broke up with me" I say in pain. "You don't understand. Shannon you didn't listen to me after I broke up with you. I was gonna explain to you why but you hung up. Let me explain to you now" she says and tries to reach out for my hand but I won't let her. "I don't want an explanation. When I called you that day, it seemed like nothing. Our love was just nothing to you. I cried my eyes out each day for a year. Then the next year I would not let anyone in, not even Cammie. I've rejected so much girls because I thought waiting for you was a great idea but no, it was just a waste of my time. Just like our relationship. I don't want to see you Cari, just leave it in the past and leave me alone" I say with tears running down my face. I can't even look at her, so I turn around and walk back to my room. Once I get there, I break down sliding down against the door. I can't do this right now. I end up blacking out on the floor, crying my heart out.

Shannon dream:
"I love you" I say and look at my beautiful girlfriend. "I love you too" she says as she cuddles into my arms. "Can you believe that it's been a year since we dated?" I ask and she smiles. "Time goes by so fast. It feels like I've been with you forever" she says and pecks my lips. "Can you promise me something?" I say and look at her seriously. "Anything baby" she gets up so we can make eye contact. "Promise me that you'll be with me forever. That one day we'll have kids and get married. I know we're a little young but you're the missing piece of my heart and I want to be with you forever" I say and she smiles at me. "I... can't" she says as she slowly disappears. "Why not, I thought you loved me?" I cry out. "You're not the one for me. Bye Shannon" and with that she disappears. "CARI!!!! Please come back" I feel the tears run down my face. "Shannon?" I hear and it gets louder. "Cari?" I say and no ones there. "Shannon!" Someone shakes me and I finally wake up.

I wake up to Amy, ally, Cammie, and kara standing over me. "What happened?" I say and rub the sleep out of my eyes. "We heard screaming coming back to our room. Why are you on the floor?" Amy asks and I shake my head. "Just had a bad night I guess" I get up and stretch. "Is it because you bumped into..." Cammie says not saying hey name. "Kinda. I just... I don't know. I'm still broken after what happened" I say honestly and they all nod. "Why were you by the door?" Amy asks. "After talking to her I just cried until I fell asleep and I had this horrible dream that she disappeared, that's probably why I was yelling" I say and I could see Cammie give me a sad look. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask Cammie and she shakes it off. "It's just... I haven't seen you like this and it hurts me to see someone that holds such a big place in my heart, broken. I swear I want to be here for you. I can't see you like this anymore" she says and I smile at her. "Okay. Kara, you good with your lady being my best friend?" I ask and she gives me a big goofy smile. "Sure mate. As long as I know you'll be okay, then anything fine... you known her longer than me anyways" she says and I laugh. "Best friends?" Cammie asks and I nod. "Please don't tell ally" I say and she nods. "Now kara could be my best friend" any hugs kara from the side. "We can... but I gotta go back to England to get work done" Kara says making Amy pout. "Well now I'm lonely" Amy says and my thoughts of Cari just doesn't exist anymore at that moment.

--1 week later--
"Shannon just breathe... please just breathe" Cammie cries out loud as I am having a panic attack for the third time this week. I breathe in and until my breathing goes to a slower pace. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry" I hug her and she wipes the tears from her eyes. "You need to talk to her, Shannon. You keep having these panic attacks and it's scaring the living shit out of me" she says and I look down. "It's okay if I'm being a burden, you can leave whenever you want" I say sadly and she lifts my head up. "You are and will never be a burden to me. I wanted to do this and sometimes I just miss being with you. This pass week has been so fun and I wouldn't change it for the world" she says and I give her a small smile. "Thank you so much for all you've done. I love you cam... as a friend" I say and she smiles too. "I love you too, shan... as a friend" she says and then we sit there in silence. "I really think you should talk to her..." she speaks out. "I can't. And why should I? She's the one that should be looking for me" I say and she shakes her head no. "Stop being stubborn for one minute and listen. She may be the cause to your pain but you won't have any closure if you ignore her. What if you didn't get closure from me two years ago? We wouldn't be friends. You should just do it for your sake. But if there's still that lovable Shannon deep down, you'll be doing it just so you can see her again" she looks at me and I let out a big sigh. "I hate it when you're right. I just need a little time. It's a bug step for me if I see her and I don't know what I'll do" I say and she puts her hand on my shoulder. "Just be you and let her talk" she gets up and I give her a weird look. "Where you going?" I ask her in confusion. "I'm going home. You need to think this through and right now you need to be alone. Plus I have to bring kara to the airport" she says and waves me goodbye. I guess I'm gonna talk to her. My panic attacks has gotten worse and worse as I keep getting them. What do you say to a girl after two years of hating her?

Cari pov:
"JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE!" I yell as Alex is trying to get me out of bed. "No! Stop crying over a girl. Things aren't as perfect as it seems. So get out of bed and explore LA because you haven't been here in over two years" she pulls off my blanket leaving me only in my sweatpants and sweater. "She is not just a girl. She's the first girl I fell in love with. Well the first person I ever fell in love with. You know how hard it is for me to hear her say that our love was a waste of time. I needed her and all I did was let her go. She isn't even the same person I fell in love with when I first met her" I say and feel myself getting weaker. "What do you mean?" Alex asks and sits with me. "I mean when I use to look at her, all I saw was love and home. But last week all I saw was pure pain and hate. I did that to her and I can't forgive myself for that" I cry out loud and I feel alex out her hand on my shoulder. "I know it's hard for you. But if you want to help yourself, you have to try and talk to her. Even if she keeps pushing you away, you have to keep trying" she says and walks out of my room. How can I talk to the love of my life after breaking her heart?

--later that day--
"ALEX YOU WANT ANYTHING FROM STARBUCKS!" I yell from the front door. "Just a bagel please" she says and I make my way out the door. I decide to walk to Starbucks since it's not that far from our apartment. I'm on my phone until I bump into someone but I didn't fall. I look up at the person and see the pain in their eyes. "Hi Cari. You really gotta watch where you're going" Shannon says and pulls me up. "I'm so sorry. I'll just um get out of your way" I try walk pass her but she pulls me back to her. "Can we talk?" She says looking me in the eyes. "But I thought you wanted me to leave you alone" I say and she looks down. "I just really need to talk to you...Please" she begs and I nod. "Okay. Let's go to a coffee shop" she says and we walk there silently. When we get there, we sit at a table across each other without saying anything. "I'm sorry" she says quietly not looking towards me. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one that broke up with you" I say and she shakes her head. "I didn't let you explain and I said some really mean stuff last week" she looks up and gives me a sad smile. "It's okay, I deserved it. So can I explain?" I ask and she nods. "So while on tour john said that these big producers would be at one of my shows. That day I broke up with you was the same day they wanted to meet up with me. So before the call one of these producers told me that I can't be in a relationship. I told them about you and how much I loved you and they wouldn't let me stay with you. They told me if I don't breakup with you, they would cancel my whole show and make me disappear. I didn't know what the disappear part meant but I knew it wasn't good. So I broke up with you that, I was scared and I didn't want to put you in danger. After the phone call with you, I cried. It was so hard to get it out and I really hate myself for what I did to you" I say with tears running down my eyes.
"Wow" she says under her breathe and I look up to her to see her wiping her tears away. "I'm sorry. I'm such a dick. You should've told me. I would've understood. For the past two years I thought you used me or you just didn't love me. After we broke up... I changed. So much. And I know I'm not happy at all. I didn't trust no one. I didn't want to move on and inside, I was dying. I'm broken Cari and there's so much I have to fix" she says painfully. "When I lost you, I lost everything. I barely spoke to anyone. Then after two freaking years, I fall back into your arms. Yet I only see pain in the eyes of the person I loved... still love. I really want to be in your life Shannon. As friends, acquaintances, whatever you want. I can't live another day without you" I say and she looks at me with tears running down. "Friends" she smiles for the first time since we bumped into each other. "Friends" I smile back.

At least they're friends. School has literally been a pain in the ass and I haven't had a good nights rest in a couple weeks. I was suppose to update last week but then my birthday came and I forgot. I'm sorry for this crappy chapter, I just wanted to get something up for the people requesting for the update. Enjoy❤️
-Stephanie✌️