Diary Of A Lost Cause

my own darkness.

dear diary,

today marks 1 full week of living with the love of my life, ive met some of the family members.

it was fun;despite the odd family dispute, nothing was really wrong with anything there. although i couldnt help feeling awkward.

my girlfriend got upset because she thought that the whole trip there was ruined, but i did enjoy myself quite a bit. 

i ache all over in a good way because of how much running around we did :) 

in the opposing feature to this bright side im gonna shed some darkness of the situation ~~~

whilst i was there i didnt feel myself at all, im not sure why. i just couldnt muster how to act or talk. i felt pretty bad for it, and i admit i probably was acting weird.

i have to  make sure that my gf has fallen asleep before i do, because i like knowing she wont be disturbed and i like knowing that she feels safe. also because shes super cute when shes sleeping (although shes super cute anyway ^u^)

i wasnt really sure how to handle everyone at once so i ended up spacing out, which usually gives off the sign that i am uncomfortable or upset in some way. my gf obviously caught on with my stupid ass and thought that bringing me here was making me feel like shit - thus making her feel like shit in the process.... (ugh stupid brain sending me into robot mode, WTF cant you just act normal for once :|) 

but by the end of it all i felt completely useless , there was a small stage within the visit where my gf was cleaning chores that werent given to her, and it annoyed me because she was getting upset that she didnt want to do them and that they should have been taken care of before i had been brought up (which again, is not a problem - although i dont like seeing her upset because it makes me want to snap someones neck....[future warning to anyone who tries shit with me or my gf])

anyway.. long story short i had a good time although my gf wasnt very happy with the whole situation, but nonetheless i think she did enjoy it for the most part.

thanks for listening diary,

speak soon.