Diary Of A Lost Cause

good intentions and the leading baby

dear diary,

i havent spoken to my dad in 2 weeks due to the fact i thought he would lose his mind over the fact that im not in college.

he just called... surprisingly he wasnt the bad guy in this story,  i was....

i had been ignoring him for a while and i was to focused on me, it was messing with my head and i was hurting people around me, but he was very calm about the situation and ive explained that my benefits need to happen up here or less i cant get a doctor or dentist...and i really need a dentist, as much as i hate them...so thats taken care of, i do miss my family. of course, who wouldnt unless you had a HUGE issue with them...

~~~SERIOUS TOPIC BELOW~~~

NO JUDGEMENT IS TO BE PUT ON THE PEOPLE OF SAID COMMUNITY, NOR ON MY GIRLFRIEND FOR BEING IN THIS COMMUNITY. IM SIMPLY SHEDDING SOME LIGHT ON WHAT IT IS FOR SOME OF MY CONFUSED READERS (IF THEY ARE CONFUSED BY THE FIRST PARAGRAPH BELOW)

ENJOY <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

On another note, i havent been paying much attention to my girlfriend lately and i know its affecting her, she tells me its fine but i havent given her time to cope with my self-destructive ass... shes in the ABDL community (i would say fandom, but technically it isnt one. ) its basically a large proportion of people (similar in the furry fandom, as they have 'fursonas') with an alternate persona that is seemingly alot younger than their real age, they then take on this role of the younger person and act around with it. this is a form of stress relief - you are not crazy nor do you need rehabilitation if you are part of the ABDL community... but yes my girlfriend is (in another term) an 'adult baby' (considering both things are seemingly different with the same category i dont like using that term... my girlfriend uses age regression to relieve herself of the stress of the world. as do i with the furry fandom. 

as ive said before this is not some form of mental illness and this isnt to be taken lightly either, this is a real thing that helps people and you hating it causes more stress than needs be. end of that topic lets continue, and yes this will be a long chapter of my story for you to read. get over it -_-

so as my girlfriend goes into something called 'little space' (a commonly used term between ADBL community members as a form saying 'i need to relieve some stress of the day , im going to age regress for a little while, fuck you if you dont like it' kind of thing (without all the attitude) i (being a female) become a caregiver/mommy to my babygirl, yes i know you think 'ew using the words  mommy and daddy are so gross , BLAH!' i thought that too , until i realised that its just a normal stress reliever , so shut the fuck up ok :)

also , to use her as an example. my girlfriend also likes sucking a Dummy/Nuki/Pacifier (which ever you prefer) as well as wear a Nappy/Diaper (and No she doesnt poop in them and ask me to clean it).... i as a said caregiver/mommy have agreed she can pee in them if she needs/wants to. with that in the light id like to add the fact she drinks from babys' bottles and currently im looking of a type of babyfied onesie so she can be wearing that...she also has a characterised voice for when she is age regressing.

now.. in spite of all this if you are a human who knows me personally outside of the interwebs (cue poppy) if i know of you harassing me or my girlfriend we will no longer speak and you will be permanently deleted from my life, without question. no matter how long we were/are friends. due to the simple fact of 'youre a fucking moron who has no idea how to have a civilised conversation about things so you bitch about them in a way to feel better about yourself, because we all know youre crippled inside.' 

ok well thats the end of that, if you have any further questions about this part of the story or any other part , feel free to message me or comment telling me your (civilised) opinion on the topic 

#peace and love