There is going to be homophobic talk so just be ready.
Brendon walked out in a tank top and basketball shorts, the usual. "Um well I texted him" I was surprised things actually went good with Josh. "Oh my god! How did it go!" He looked happy for me and I appreciated his comfort. "It went well, we decided that we were going down for coffee Saturday morning!" I was honestly so happy to be able to spend a morning with Josh. "You go! Dude you have to tell me every single thing that happens I don't care how embarrassing or boring it is you have to tell me." He smiled big them looked at the cookies. Growing up I was told that being gay, bi, pan, trans, was a big sin, I don't want to like Josh like that. I'll be bad if I do, I'm already a mess and I'm not allowed to be gay so I'll try my best not to like Josh. I want him to be my friend. If I'm gay my parents will beat me till I'm bruised all over my body, they won't care how old I am as long as their only son isn't gay they'll do anything. "They're ready bring them" I noticed Brendon wanted to eat them, I don't want to brag but I may have the best cookie recipe to exist. "Alright, alright" Brendon got up then walked to the kitchen for the cookies. "I left some flowers for you to water" I said shoving a whole cookie into my mouth. "Thanks I haven't watered them for a while I hope they aren't dead." He suddenly looked a bit worried. "I watered them for you, you're silly" I looked out the window and saw my beautiful tulips blooming.
We watched crank that frank till 2:00 am. Eva is really pretty I want to be like her, I want to look like her. I want to be able to dress and do my makeup like her without being judged. She's a really beautiful women and I hope to be like her some day. Brendon had fallen asleep earlier then me so I left him on the couch while I hopped into bed and snuggled into my sheets. I fell asleep thinking about Josh's beautiful face and I know it sounds cheesy but I'm being honest. I write songs and I wrote one called "he's the tear in my heart" it was for Josh. I was proud of that song, maybe I was gay and did like Josh. Maybe I'm sinning so much without even noticing but I can't stop myself from loving Josh. Josh was a really handsome man but maybe he was straight.
I woke up at 8:30 am and put my clothes on then made me and Brendon breakfast. "Brendon it's already 8 wake up!" I pushed his shoulders. "Oh crap" he grabbed his backpack and rushed to the bathroom to get ready. I made eggs and toast with coffee. Me and Brendon quickly ate and headed towards the door. He skated down for an interview I'm not sure what job he was interviewing for but I'm sure it was something musically related.
As soon as I saw the store my heart raced and I could feel my face burning. I took a deep breath in then entered the store. Where was the yellow haired boy? My heart sinked, why wasn't Josh there? I wanted to see his damn beautiful smile. I slowly dragged my feet over to where the ukuleles were and slouched on the chair. "Hey Tyler your late!" I heard from behind me. I recognized that voice so clearly it was Josh. "I know I um slept really l-late." I turned to look at him and he looked so gorgeous. "Yeah I know, you sound very tired. Tyler you need your rest." He looked so energetic, how was this possible? "Are you still working at the register?" I asked him then he grinned even bigger. "I asked Ashlynn if I can work a different position and she suggested I come and help you out with the ukuleles and guitars." He bit his tongue then giggled at the same time, I honestly freaked out inside but I tried to keep my calm. I stared at him for a while just watching his face. "Tyler? The stores about to open." Josh looked a bit concerned. "Oh um sorry" I quickly got up and rushed to the guitars and cleaned them even though I did last night. Josh cleaned the ukuleles and hummed some sort of tune, it was honestly breath taking. I sat on the chair across the room from Josh while he cleaned. I slipped in ear bud on my ear and pretended like I was listening to music but I put the volume all the way down so all I could hear is Josh hum his little tune. Josh drummed with his fingers against the wall. His tune and finger drumming would go so good with the song I wrote yesterday. Maybe if I added some piano it would be perfect. Soon a customer came in and was looking for a Luna guitar. "Josh you wanna do this one" I whispered to him. "I'll just watch you I don't know how to yet." He said shyly. "Come on I'll help you out" Josh looked down. "Fine ok". He quickly found what the customer needed. "You officially sold your first item" I patted his back. "Thanks for the help" everybody felt so natural with Josh, I feel like I've known him for a pretty long time. We giggled and talked until our brake, I was thinking of heading down to the beach like I always did because our brakes are pretty long. "Wanna come to the beach with me?" Josh asked. "I was about to ask you th-the same question." I lied I really wasn't but I didn't want to be mean, the beach was a way for me to relax but now that Josh was going to I couldn't lay on the sand not talking for ten minutes like I always did. "Great let me go get my backpack" Josh walked away and I walked the other way to my backpack as well and put my swim shorts on. We both walked to the beach and Josh's face started to sweat and every time he turned his face he had perfectly highlighted cheek bones I just wanted to kiss them but I couldn't. We skated down to the beach and talked about my chemical romance he said he really shipped frerard and in that instant I knew he was the love of my life, just kidding but I really liked the though of Gerard and Frank. I also really liked the though of Josh and I, maybe Joshler. That was perfect, the name "joshler" ran through my mind. "Joshler" whispered. "That's perfect our friend ship name can be Joshler, great thinking Ty." I noticed I said it aloud and I started blushing so I skated faster and order to pass him. "Yeah" wait what did he call me? I was to focused thinking on myself and I don't even notice what his nickname was for me. "Ty?" I giggled. "You don't like it?" He giggled as well. "I love it, that's a new on though" I wasn't lying I really liked it when Josh called me Ty.
When my skateboard wheels started to surface on sand I picked it up then stopped at a fire pit and left all my stuff there. "Race you to the water!" I yelled already getting a head start. "Hey that's not fair!" Josh frowned. I stopped and walked back to him. "I'm so sorry" tears started to swell up in my eyes. "Hey Ty don't cry I was joking, please don't cry I didn't know you were so emotional. I'm sorry" he pulled me into a hug which I sank into but I quickly felt like my lungs were going to explode. Josh cut himself on a sharp rock and it looked really bad. I burst into tears and clenched my fist wanting to punch the rock for hurting Josh, but that was stupid. "J-josh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, J-j-josh that wasn't my intention!" I quickly rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around him and I was to focused on comforting Josh that I ignored that feeling of my lungs bursting like a balloon. "Why'd you do that Tyler, I thought we were friends" Josh yelped in pain and watching him in pain teared my heart into shreds I never want to see Josh in pain. "Josh we are or we were because I know you h-hate me n-now" my tears made Josh's shirt damp and saltier than it already was. "Why'd you do it?" Josh was sobbing from the pain so I held him tighter and he tried making me let go but I held on as tight as I could. "Tyler please let go of me" Josh said in a angrily tone. "I'm so so so sorry! I promise I didn't mean to hurt you, I-I-I ju-just-" I was shortly cut off by Josh "you were what Tyler". I sat down, put my palms on eyes, then rested my elbows on my knees. "Tyler I'm sorry for being harsh I know you didn't mean it, it just hurts." I cried for a bit completely ignoring what Josh said, he had a reason to be harsh I deserved to be punished with more than a raised voice and snappy attitude. "Josh you have a reason to be mad it's ok, you can hit me I don't care because I deserve it. I should be the only one saying sorry." I looked up and saw Josh extend towards me to pat my back. "Tyler I will never hit you. Don't blame this on yourself I know you didn't mean. Can I know why you pushed me though?" Josh's words made me shake I really didn't want to sit and have to explain to Josh about my anxiety and problems right now he was hurt and I should only be focusing on him. "I'll tell you bet first can we go to the hospital I don't lurk seeing you in pain, please Josh. I'll call an uber so that you don't have to walk I absolutely hate seeing you like this." I cried more than Josh even though he was the one in physical pain. "Ok Tyler but promise you'll tell me?" Josh asked me. "I promise." I picked up my phone and ordered an uber. "It's going to be here shortly Josh I'm sorry i did this to you Josh. I hope one day you'll forgive me, Tyler you always have to fuck things up you idiot!" I slammed my palm on my forehead. "Hey hey, Tyler I forgive you. You did nothing wrong so stop calling yourself and idiot please". "Josh what do you mean I did nothing wrong! You have a huge cut going down your leg because of me, because of me!" I shook my head then instantly regretted raising my voice at Josh. Josh froze, "Josh I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry I raised my voice at you". "Ty it's f-f-fine" I knew he knew nothing was fine, I knew he knew I was an idiot, I knew he knew he hates me! The uber arrived and the trip to the hospital was silent. I wrapped my shirt on Josh's leg so he wouldn't loose a lot of blood because he started to become pale. Josh fell asleep with his mouth open and snores a bit. I was so busy blaming myself that I couldn't even notice that Josh stopped snoring. When we arrived I payed the uber driver then attempted to wake Josh up. "Wake up sleepy head." I shakes Josh's shoulders then noticed that he wasn't breathing. "Josh don't you fucking go! Josh please stay with me! I love you so much and I'll never get the chance to tell you that now! Josh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This all my fault, it's my fault Josh is fucking dead!" The uber driver quickly turned to look at both of us then got out of his seat and rushed to Josh. "He still has pulse come on I'll help you carry him to the hospital after all we are here" the uber driver said. "Thank you so so so much sir." I Josh's arms and the driver grabbed his legs. He rushed to the hospital then someone quickly attended us. Two doctors laid him on the bed then rushed me out "NO JOSH, PLEASE PLEASE I NEED TO BE WITH HIM. IM SORRY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH." I cried so hard and looked so ugly but I didn't care. The doctor shut the door and a nurse leaded me to waiting room where the driver was sitting. I cried so hard and loud, I could never forgive myself for killing him. He lost a lot of blood and it looked horrible. I committed blasphemy, usually I'd feel horrible but I didn't care, I was proud to say I loved Josh out loud. It was good that he was unconscious when I said it because I definitely know he is straight or at lease I think. "Hey I've got to go but I can give you my number just in case you need anything" he shakes my hand. "Yes please, can I get your name?" I looked at him in the eyes then I immediately noticed who had helped me, I was to busy before to even notice him. It was the Frank Gioia! The classic purple hair and lip piercings I would have fan girled so hard but the only person I cared about was dying and it was devastating. "I love your videos so much I would of fan girled like crazy but I'm just depressed right now I guess, but last night I stayed up till sunrise watching you and Eva" he smiled then patted my back. "That's crazy, she's beautiful and I've been on days without sleep watching her videos as she sleeps next to me" I grinned then I passed him my phone so he can dial his number. "I like your band, the lyrics speaks to me so thanks Tyler" I was speechless Frank listened to my band! That was amazing, though it is only popular in Columbus. "Maybe you should get Josh to drum for you he's really good at that he used to drum on tour for a band called house of heroes and he's really good at it!" Frank yelled exiting the waiting room. "I should ask him! Bye Frank" I waved him a good bye, how the hell did Frank end up being my uber driver. When he left all the negative thoughts returned. I'm the reason why his mom will never see her baby boy get married. I cried for what felt like months but was only actually hours. The doctor care into the room and said "I don't have the most exiting news, I'm sorry Tyler-"
A/N
See there's something called editing but look I'm way to lazy so deal with it, sorry !
