※The East Girl - Part One※
"Screw humanity. Screw them who said that they would help me. It was all a lie. No one helped me when I was literally begging myself with my eyes for them to help me when they were grabbing me like I was some kind of trash...
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epilogue
Present day. One week before graduation day.
For these past three years, everything was going back to normal after that day, the day I wished it has never existed. But, I was okay. I was fine. I have learned to come out from my fear every time people suspiciously looked at me. I tried my best to be as positive as I could. Sometimes I just ignored them. No matter how it annoyed me, I just ignored them. But, sometimes I couldn't help myself but, to fear that somebody might have some kind of twisted mind like the old librarian did to me. Whenever the anxiety attacked me I tried my best to keep my mind distracted. It was either reciting my Qur'an or reading my favorite novels from my favorite authors or going out with the girls. Thankfully the girls were very much understanding. They helped me as much as they could.
Ever since that day, I have never letted myself to go out without a friend I familiar with. Such as Faith, Suzanne, Nadine, Husna, and any other friends that I couldn't mentioned one by one. They helped me to go through with the court, therapy session and reporting to Columbia about my dorm arrangement with Adam.
Speaking of Adam, he and I agreed to be in our own separate dorm. I couldn't imagine how I was gonna sleeping under the same roof, breathing the same air and seeing the same sunrise every fajr as him. It was all okay if I didn't have any conflict of interest with him. But, I did have it. So, that was not okay at all.
What terrified me the most was whenever we silently stole a glance at each other when we thought the other party was not realize of it was kinda sweet as well as frightening. Frightened me to the bone as I remember my messenger's, Muhammad (peace be upon him), advice that if a man and a woman together alone, it most likely that the third person was a shaytan*. Frightened that I might be crossed the line of the guidelines that my God and prophet has drew in between. And I frightened that one of us couldn't hold the interest that got into our body and crept it into our heart then acted by it.
Nudzubillah*. Finger crossed.
I couldn't let it happened. Let alone we both knew it was uncalled for. You know what people said that it was okay if you didn't know. But, it wasn't okay at all if you knew what you did was wrong and you did it anyway. It was what we called ignorant.
My mom once said that stupid people were the ones who knew what they were doing was wrong but, they still did it. That was what my mom called stupid. Stupid wasn't about getting 3 in GPA or getting 400 in TOEFL test. Or failed in some exams. No. It was lazy not stupid.
When there was a will, there was a way. They said. But, that was beside the point.
Just by the way he took care of me, the way he shielded me whenever Powell tried to talk to me was overwhelming as well as frightening. I have never felt like this before you know. It was kind of new to me. He was so possessive of me when I was nobody to him. I was just his roommate or ex-roommate these days. Why did he need to be that possessive? No matter what the reasons were. He didn't have a right to act like that. When it came to Powell, he was so so so possesive. As if he was the one who Powell wanted to talk to. I honestly didn't understand what his problem was with Powell. But, telling Powell to back off was unecessary.
