※The East Girl - Part One※
"Screw humanity. Screw them who said that they would help me. It was all a lie. No one helped me when I was literally begging myself with my eyes for them to help me when they were grabbing me like I was some kind of trash...
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"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind." (Mahatma Gandhi)
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How would you feel when you have nothing to see but black? How would you feel when your right to be free was stolen by someone who blame his darkest past on you? How would you feel when you have nobody to rely on but yourself? Even though you, yourself, couldn't even stand still before you fell apart? What would you do when someone has forced you to do something that was not right in the first place? What would you do if you were in my shoes right now? Would you blame me? Would you blame my choice of faith? Would you blame the way I wear my own clothes? All because I simply wore a scarf around my head? Because I simply proud to be Muslim? Was it all happening simply just because I am Muslim? What would you really do when you have to deal wtih this kind of situation? What would you do?
I didn't get it honestly. Was taking it out on me make everything would be the same way as before again? Was with kidnapping me really can fix his darkest past? Was his planning to sexually assault me could bring all the happines, before the darkest past back again? Was blaming me would bring the justice to him specifically? Was all the education he took in his youth didn't good enough to make him realized that what he was about to do was freaking wrong?
Please God, just tell me what I should do to escape from this kind of humiliating event? You are all I have, God. Please God, just tell me what I should do to magically disappear from this place? Please God, can you send my mom right here, right now? I desparately need her right now.
If I could, I would pretend like this never happened in the first place. If I could, I would pretend that it was all just nightmare that made me didn't even want to sleep anymore. If I could, I would pretend that I've never been accepted to study in Columbia to begin with. If I could, I would pretend that I've never went to Broadway in the first place. If I could, I would forget that I've ever met him. If I could, I—I wished I have an amnesia just to not remember this ever happened to me.
But, God. Those were so many if(s) I had ever let myself to say. If didn't mean to be real. If didn't have a courage to make a wish come true. If just if. Something that didn't mean to be true in the first place. I knew I should have wake up by now and realize how wrong I was. But, it was all I could do right now. Make a wish upon You, O Allah.
God, could You hear me? You said that You are the greatest of the greatest, then could you please turn back the time? You said You could do everything that beyond human's ability then, could You please take my memory of this event away from me? Could You please make some kind of portal that could tranport me to another parallel world like Nobita usually do?
