[BOOK 1] More Than This

-14-

UNVEILING THE PAST

[Kinzy's POV]

After the intimate make out session we decided to lay our backs against the mattress and cuddle up. Don't get me wrong, we haven't to that state yet, we're kissing until our lungs are out of air to breathe. This is sure the best moment of my life. Ethan Riggs is my boyfriend. I can't really believe it. Since when did I play for the same team? I don't know but with this guy leaning his head against my chest while his arm wrapping around my waist, I'm sure I don't have to answer it. He makes me this and I'm willing.

"You okay there?" I whisper above his head while my hand is caressing his back.

He hummed his answer.

"Maybe they're sleeping peacefully now." I chuckle, it's 5 in the morning and the faint noises earlier have been totally faded. Maybe Shin got up and off everything downstairs.

"You think?" he asks.

"Yeah, knowing them, I'm sure."

He just nodded. He looks so down.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just thinking about us, about the earlier."

"What was that thing?"

"Do you think we rushed it?"

"Nope, coz I've been feeling this for a while now. I mean, from the first day I met you." I chuckle to the memories of our first met.

"Ah, that's why you punch me," he teases me.

"Hey," I slightly nudged him, "I did say sorry." I said while smiling.

"Okay, apology accepted." He said.

We just hang in there while my finger is drawing circles at his back. I can feel him shiver into my touch and that's make me happy.

"Ethan?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" it's time for us to know each other. Aside from his name and small background, I didn't know anything about him. "Why did you push me earlier?" and I didn't even know why he did what he did.

He move away from my embrace and lean against the headboard of Shin's bed beside me. "I'm sorry," he said with his head hanging low.

"Don't get me wrong, I didn't really think about it. I want to know the reason so I could probably avoid it the next time." I said.

He just nodded but didn't speak. We go in an awkward silence but I wait for him to talk. I don't want to rush him.

"It's because of my past?" He trailed off

"Past?" I repeated

"Something happened to me 8 years ago that makes me like that. Every time it gets into my mind, I'm afraid. I didn't want other people touches me."

"You have Haphephobia?" as what I've learned, that is a specific phobia that involves the fear of touching or of being touched.

"I don't know. I love it when you're touching me though but I'm also afraid. I don't really know." He explained and I just nodded.

"So, what exactly happened that makes you--- ?"

"What if you'll change when you heard about it?" He said without looking at me. His voice is shaky.

"Ethan," I said and then tilted his chin to look at me. "I want you and nothing could change that." I assure him. Maybe he has not so beautiful memories and all but I want to know it. He looks at me intensely before sighing silently.