[BOOK 1] More Than This

-26-

A/N
A little matured scene here. Please skip if you don't want something like this. If you don't, please don't blame me, blame my fingers for typing this one. Oh, my nails need the attention more than me :)

[Ethan's POV]

The time he walks out the door, I know I fucked up, big time. I have to do this, I don't want him to leave me, I don't want him to break up with me. I can't live my life away from him. He is so much precious than my pride, my fear and the memories of my father.

I have to make him happy. I will show him that I wanted him as well. Am I sounded like a pervert? Well, I'm not. I just wanted him to be happy. Every time he brings me to orgasm it just help sends those nightmares, memories of my past right back to the past where it belongs. And I want him to finally lock down them into the deepest core where even I can't find them anymore.

It's time for me to make my move and give my man the best of me that I only reserved for him and only for him. I did research about it for the past few weeks and I'm pretty sure I can give them a try. I just have to try. So I came to the conclusion that I need him inside me. I know I'm not as experience as him when talking about love making or just simply have sex but I can learn all the way, right? I hope my research and all will work with me to this. I don't want him to think that I don't want it for me, for us. I want him to feel the same intense emotion he makes me feel every time our bare skin, our naked bodies touches each other. I know he has needs, he even told me that he hasn't sex for the past 6 months, since we became together. I wish I have someone I could talk about what I feel and hopefully this won't blow up into my face when the time comes.

This is it. I just need to calm myself down first before I could plan what I have to do ahead before he came back. I let out a sigh. Still my sob didn't subdue and I can't stop my tears from flowing like a dam that got broken.

"Ethan," I heard him called out and fuck, maybe it's too late.

I can feel him squatted in front of me. I didn't expect him to be here for such a short time but knowing Kinzy, his action is always unexpected. I slowly lift my head to see into his eyes.

"Get up," he ordered me which I immediately complied. He then wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. My tears just flowed more when I nuzzled into his chest. I wrap my arms in his waist too and sniff his smell that sends me into cloud nine.

"I- I- I'm so-sorry," I cried hard against his chest.

He just caresses my back, comforting me as I hold him like he was my lifeline. He kissed my head and whispers comforting words into my ears. I don't know what to say so I just hold him as long as he wanted me too. We stayed like that until someone knocks the door.

"I guess it's our dinner," he murmured with a smile and I nodded.

He left me at the balcony while I watch him go to the door and open whoever it is at the other side of the door. I watch him as he prepare the dining table and put all the foods at the table. He then motions me to come to the table which I immediately complied. The last thing I want is to make him more upset with me.

We eat our dinner quietly. None of us wanted to talk and choose to devour the foods in front rather than talk. After we finish our food, I proceeded to the bathroom to take a bath and to prepare myself for the plan I have in mind. This is it, no turning back. If I can't do this, this time it's better for me to stay away from him rather than keep on hurting him.