❗️ If I referred you here because you asked for a F4F, I explain my personal situation regarding that toward the end. ❗️
This is actually a pretty difficult topic to break down, not least of all because everybody has a different mindset about it. I'll try to start with the basics of my stance:
Don't ask a specific individual for a follow. On the other hand, informing the general public that you're up for Follow-for-Follow (F4F) is completely okay.
What's the difference? In the latter case, you're not putting anyone on the spot. People can decline without a word. At the same time, like-minded people can take you up on it. Stating in a club setting that you're up for F4F is therefore a win-win, hooray!
So why not ask individuals for follows? Here are two reasons.
1. They'll follow you if they want to, with or without asking. In other words, you aren't really accomplishing anything by asking. If they were inclined to follow you, they would have. They don't need you to remind them that the function exists. And if they aren't inclined to follow you at the moment, they won't, and you asking will likely irk them.
2. Indeed, if you do ask brashly, you may lose out on a potential friend. Many, many Wattpad writers will be miffed if you ask them for a follow. They aren't likely to warm up to you once you ask it, even if you've been on talking terms for a bit. They'll think you only ever talked to them for their votes and follows... which hopefully isn't the case!
Now you might be wondering, why don't people simply give out their follows more freely? What gives, man? Why are you being snooty?
Don't presume to judge.
People are entitled to follow who they want, for whatever reasons they might have. Even people who withhold follows for egotistical reasons, that itself might be an understandable reason. That person might have low self-esteem or have trouble at home, and bestowing their follow gives them an ounce of control and power. Maybe you don't want to deal with people like that, fine, but maybe they don't want to deal with you, either.
❗️ Why do I, Mysty, not F4F? ❗️
Three reasons.
1. It crowds my notifications. Even with the people I follow, I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by someone who posts a lot. Yes, the announcements collapse into a single notification sometimes, but sometimes they don't. I don't follow that many people, either. What if I followed 1,000, or 10,000?
2. People will view me as a tool, not a person. I have no problem giving out my follow. I often follow new friends and new, avid readers of my works. The trouble is, if I followed everyone willy-nilly, I would no longer be making new friends, finding cool new fans. I would no longer be pouring my heart into answering people's serious questions. I would find an inbox filled with F4F requests from people who have no interest in knowing me, and that's not what I want. Every reply I give in DMs is personalized. I, a user here, am engaging with other users here. I like that human-to-human relationship!
And I will continue replying to people here as long as I can, because while I have my reasons not to F4F, I have every reason to talk to you.
3. Finally, a follow can be seen as an endorsement, and a poor endorsement could damage more than my credibility, but the credibility of those I represent. I can't check the writing of every person I follow, if I followed everyone. I can only halfway manage as it is! At least in my current situation, I can say I followed such-and-such-a-person for a particular initiative, or I followed them because they read and commented a lot on my stories. If I followed just anyone, I don't really have even half-an-excuse. I'm a Wattpad Ambassador, a Wattpad Star, but much more importantly I'm a Buddhist. I don't want to reflect badly on Wattpad, and much less I want to reflect badly on my Sangha. I don't want you to think less of Mahayana Buddhism because of MY mistake!
So I hope you read all that and understand a little where I'm coming from, particularly if you asked me for a F4F and I referred you to this page. I can say with profundity that yes I do love you, but at this moment, no, I'm not going to follow you. I'm truly sorry. I may soon, though! I'm happy to keep talking!
And as for the readers of this chapter who are just reading the book, I hope this chapter gave you some insight into the complex issue of F4F and, more generally, of how helping too much can itself be a problem.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
